What happens in Vegas.... Stays in Vegas?

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. That is the motto. That is the national creed of Sin City. Why does that phrase seem so inviting? Why does that phrase seem so mischievous? Why does this phrase seem to only work with Las Vegas? It was no accident, it was because no other city claimed the rights to this powerful marketing tool first. That is it. I can't believe I have just figured this out! For years I believed that anything I did or any of my friends did, no matter how crazy and insane, all memory and proof of it ever happening would be kept right there in the city limits. I think the millions of people that visit Vegas each year with their bag of quarters, rent check, and mistress all assume the same thing that I did. Let the city take full control of all reason and common sense and when you board the plane to leave, it is handed back to you. I thought this happened on my last five visits to the City of Sidewalk Porn Distributors, and over the past 6 years here in San Antonio I believed that we actually went to bed before 1:00 a.m. each night, we showed restraint on the black jack table (never positioning ourselves between two black fur wearing hookers), we limited ourselves to two adult beverages an evening never consumer more then we should and we ate only a healthy amount of food. But that is when it clicked. Wait a minute... We have proof that all of this did not happen in this manor. How can something really stay in Vegas after cameras, cell phones, video cameras and gossip were innvented. Nothing can stay there. So, I will have a new mind set this trip to Vegas, with 8 of my closest and dearest friends ever, "What Happens in Vegas No Matter How Embarrassing Humiliating and Wrong will Surely Find its Way to San Antontio and my Mom" So I am going to take it easy this trip. Maybe get up early and do a little jog, then grab breakfast, followed by a nice stroll up and down the strip then a nice buffet for lunch followed by a nice nap. Take in some sun by the heated pool next and then get showered for an evening show and dinner. Next maybe spend 20 minutes and a ten dollar bill on a slot machine, lauph about how quick it went, get a mixed drink and head up to the room, look at the lights of the town from my window and then get to sleep after watching a little T.V., all by 12:30. Follow this same pattern for the next two days. I think if I stick this plan of attack, then for sure, what ever happens in Vegas will stay there. I am sure the following pattern is one that would find it's way out of the Sin City before even the body leaves the city. Arrive blow a twenty at the airport on a slot machine, blow another twenty while waiting on friends to check in, have two mixed drinks. Waste another twenty while waiting for friends to meet you in the lobby, consume 4 more mixed drinks, blow another twenty, and another and another, create drama, have five more mixed drinks and two footballs, dance all over other peoples girlfriends for 4 hours, blow another twenty after being kicked out of the club, waste 4 mixed drinks by leaving them in the bathroom stall, blow another twenty with one bet of black jack, find ATM, get denied, find wrong room twice then right room fall asleep as room service is knocking on door to see if you need clean towels at 10:00 a.m.. Repeat for two more days. Absolutely, this behavior would find it's way out of Vegas. So and I am speaking for everyone of the nine traveling to Vegas. I think we might leave our cameras here this time! Just so that there is no proof one pattern or the other. In fact here as some pictures that have found their way out! Notice none of me. No one wanted to take a picture of me calmly losing money. Only 5 days until we blow our first twenty. I can't wait. Until next time.

The Speed of Sound and Other Things...

Ok, Let me start of with this. I am in a hurry this evening, so I might not have a very good blog. I realise I am assuming that I always have good blogs, for me to say that this one might be so different from the other ones that I would have to preface it with an appology. But I have so many destractions in my life right now, non of which being controled by a girlfirend(sorry mom and dad). I am trying to successfully juggle Astros's playoff baseball(they won tonight), T.V. Shows(I watched Amazing Race and Lost last night), DVD's (I watched an entire season of The Office Just earlier), working out(I am almost comfortable wearing my shirts with the top button undone now), and vegas trip planning(I am traveling to Las Vegas in 14 days with three friends and some other people I don't like.) So, needless to say I am a little over taxed with tasks, all of which keep fighting to take top priority. In fact DVD's, TV, and Sports just did an amazing leap and all at once jumped in front of working out over the past few days. But enouph with the apologies. Lets get on with the blog, because like I said, I am in a hurry.

I watched the Discovery Channel sometime in April and I vaguely remember that they talked about how sound actually had a speed. I didn't much pay attention at the time so all my facts might not be acurate but this afternoon at work I started to think back on that show. I was trying to remember exactly how fact the speed of sound was. I am not bragging but to be able to run the 800 meter dash in just over 2 minutes like I did in high school is fast, but it seems that the scientists on the show where saying that sound was much faster then that. I am not positive because I had the T.V. on mute half the time, but I remember them showing a jet over and over. So I am going to suggest that the sound of speed is slightly slower then that of a speeding jet. But again I can't be sure because, I did turn the program to Montel Williams after like five minutes. So, on to other stuff....

Untill next time. (Sorry about the crappy blog)

Has he LOST it or what?

Ok, I am going to write an entire blog about a television show that one of my roommates would trade his religion in rather then miss one second of the show. The show is Lost. He has way overhyped this show to his family, friends, coworkers, bartenders, dentist, pastor, and basically anyone that has been within 12 feet of him for over 30 seconds. He basically only talks about this show. "There is no better show on t.v.!" "It is the best single thing on earth!" and "It comes in as a close second behind the life of Christ, as the single greatest event in the history of the universe!" "Ahhhhhhhhh" are all sentences you hear him say every 108 minutes. This "astonishing, awe-inspiring and awesome" show has been on for a year now, on Wednesdays at 8:00 on ABC. My rooomate has even stopped calling Wednesday by it name, calling it "LOST night!!!!" now. For most of the past year he spear-headed a movement to try and force people to watch the show with him, and enjoy it in his way(which is with every breath he takes). He succeeded with a few of my friends over the past year and now they do nothing but talk about plot developments, story lines, and cliff hanger endings to episodes; never talking about normal things like sports, women and cereals, only Lost. Well, then summer came and heavens for bid, Lost was in between seasons, and you would think that this would mean Wednesdays would be back to normal. That would be a wrong assumption. The talking continued, the hyping continued, the cornering and beating up of non-Lost lovers continued. It got to the point one night, and alcohol was not involved most likely, that my roommate was literally in tears because season two of Lost was only one week away. He was emotional over the fact that every single human on earth has not seen this "moving, overwhelming, spine-tingling, stunning, thrilling" show yet. I think he was almost going crazy from not getting to see a new episode for over 3 months. He kept saying all these numbers over and over... 4 8 15 16 23 42. He screamed out in his sleep one night "what is in the hatch!!!!" so loudly that it woke even the niebors. I think what bothered him the most was the fact that his roommates had yet to watch his "godlike" show and hence our lives were in danger. He had me wondering "has he had lost it or what?" Knowing that he had, I still made a decision that I am still not sure was or was not a good one. I broke down and watched the whole first season on DVD. Mind you I decided to do this 5 days before the new season was starting. And that is when it began. All these strange things. Not as strange as a man being blown up by a stick of 400 year old dynamite, but strange things were happining. I started watching episodes at all hours and everywhere I could. I could not get enouph of this new show. I would watch it on my computer, I would watch it in any free fifteen minutes i had before work leaving for work, I even borrowed a portable DVD player and watched it while driving to work. I watched 24 one-hour episodes in a 4 day span, all while working, working out, sleeping and eating cereal. I started talking solely about this cool show and I started cornering people and asking them if they had seen this Lost show. I would ask customers at work what they thought of Kate's flashback, Locke walking again, and Hurley's jokes. It was happening to me. I was becoming a full-fledge fan of a t.v. show. I was starting to hold it up as "one of the best shows on t.v." Was this really happening? So, the season two started and more sings of my new obsession started appearing. I actually raced home one night, ignoring speed limits and traffic lights, so that I could be there for the very first minute of the first episode of season two. I was fully hooked now. The second episode came a week later, and right after it was over I rushed to my computer and spent 3 straight hours consulting with other Lost cult members, on a lost messege board(something a huge dork invented to allow other dorks to spread rumors, gossip, ideas, quotes, and talk about Lost). I was trying to make since of what the heck Dharma is? What was that swan? Why was a shark tattooed? Why is Locke so weird? Why was I doing this? And then another week passed and I watched every second of the third episode ever so intently and that was just 2 hours ago. I never blinked once the entire show. And now the final weird thing has just happened... I sprinted into my room, sat down at the computer and told my four readers all about how crazy I am about this Lost show. And I am feeling wierd all over. GO AND RENT THE FIRST SEASON! WATCH THIS SHOW! IT IS AWESOME! YOUR LIFE MAY BE IN DANGER IF YOU DON'T!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Now I am sure your asking yourselves, "Has he LOST it or what?" Until next time.

Working Out or Pigging Out?

First, I need to apologize, mainly to myself, (because I fear I am the only one that has missed my blogs)for my lack of posts over the past few months. My excuse: Fall is in the air, Football is in full swing, Baseball playoffs are starting, Basketball is three weeks away, and Kohl's Big Two Day sale is this weekend. This all means that there is no better time to start back up writing blogs. I have taken the Kohl's approach lately and have started up writing blogs again about as often as they have a Huge Two Day Sale(once or twice a month). In all honesty, I have been busy over this three month period where blogs were few and far between. The main reason is I have started a vigorous workout. One that involves more then treading water and holding a beer above water while tubing down the river. Nope, this is a full fledge work out, dumbbells and all. Although that is a funny name for a workout devise, I cannot think of one thing to say that would explain why they are named that, other then they were obviously named after an Aggie. Anyways, I am so into this working out that I have even broke down and joined the Supplement Club.(The First Rule of Supplement Club is to not talk about Supplement Club. The Second Rule of Supplement Club is find a way to talk about it without really talking about it.) So I can't tell you which ones I inject into my blood, but I can tell you about the decision making process that led to getting them. I went to a Nutritional Store(always a good first step), and asked the guy working, "What do I need to do to grow as big a Mark McGuire, when he hit all those home runs?" He told me that everything to get that big is now illegal, but I could buy everything he says and be almost as big as Mark. So I thought for a second and asked, "How do I get as big as Kristie Alley?" And he said to eat everything in sight. And that is when I had to decide.... Did I want to be almost as big as Mark McGuire and take supplements, vitamins, meal replacements, fish oils, muscle enhancers and cucumber shakes, giving the guy at the Nutritional Store a healthy commission; or I could use all that money and eat at CiCi's Pizza every meal and get as big as Kristie Alley. Don't get me wrong it was not that hard of a decision, but I do love that Pizza from CiCi's and I love to pig out. Eating is fun, it always makes me feel good, it tastes good, smells good, looks good, and even sounds good cooking. So why not devote my life to eating everything I can get my hands on? Well, back to the main question. Should I work out or pig out? And I chose work out. And that is exactly what I have been doing. Not to brag or anything but I could probably dead lift Kristie Alley and not even need a spotter. However, it was this decision to start working out that has invaded on my Blogging hobby. OK, this is not a promise, but a very strong suggestion; "I will be blogging more in the future." I will try and keep you informed on when I am big enouph to play in the Major Leagues illegally and then lie about it. Hopefully it will be in the near future, because CiCi's is always just a short drive away. So, from now on remember, when you see someone that is having trouble getting out of their chair and are grabbing their stomach in pain, ask yourself, "Are they recovering from a work out or a pig out?" Until next time.