Monday, July 10, 2006
The next blog will be better.
I realised exactlly what keeps me going. Procrastination. I like to put things off until the very last second, leaving next to no time to finish it, and it is always stressful. This is no way to go about life... but the thing is I think I will put off writting a blog until tomorrow. That way I can sleep now. Until next time. 
Thursday, July 06, 2006
The Fourth of July for Dummy Faces
Hope everyone had a good Fourth of July. I had a great one, kind of. I spent it reliving a favorite childhood past time, just in a dangerous way. When I was a child, years and years ago, my parents had 23 medium to large size oak trees in their back yard. I prided myself on the fact that I could start at one side of the back yard and make it to the other side of the yard, without touching the ground all while setting foot on each of the 23 trees. Yes, I could do it, i did it all the time. And I loved it. The thing is, I was a top heavy 95 pounds back then and I treated climbing trees like a plumber treats a toilet, with ease. I am now double that weight and bottom heavy, and add to that picture a chainsaw and you have a picture of me on the Fourth of July. I chopped down what seemed like half of my old climbing grounds. Me and my dad made a nice clean looking canopy over the whole backyard.
Perfect job, except for that one last limb that needed to be chopped, but it was way up in the trees. "Hey, your a athletic young man!" I thought to myself, "why don't you shimmy up that tree like the good ole days and cut that limb down?" Ignoring the craziness of talking to myself, I thought it was the best idea I had had since changing from boxers to briefs. I proceded to make my way up that tree like a pro. I did have too stop twice to catch my breath, which seems like it would have reminded me, that this was not what happened in the good ole days but, I got to the branch I needed to chop down pulled my self up on it and nestled myself in what seemed like twigs right above that limb. Taking a minute to let my sweating subdue to a mild trickle I lowered the rope I brought with me down to my dad, in which he tied the chainsaw to this rope and in turn pulled it back up to my paws. Needless to say I had to take another few minutes.
Let me explain the size of this limb I was about to chop down, it was medium size but large enouph to kill a boy scout troupe if it fell on them. I was cutting out a sizeable area of this tree, and mind you, I was about 25 feet in the air. My next memory was a combination of two phases that filled my head at once. As I asked myself, "Is this the best angle you should be cutting this limb from?" my mom's voice echoed in my head, "GET DOWN FROM UP THERE THIS INSTANT!" This caused me to forget to answer the question I asked myself, and it also put me right back into the good 'ole days! I used to love to scare my mom by swinging from trees, jumping from one tree to the other and even by falling from the trees. Luckily my head broke the fall each time. So, there I am waving my mom off, sweating profusely, breathing heavy, starting the chainsaw and about to cut off this main limb. One more time I heard myself ask something, "Ar ou ure his is the r ght an le?" The noise of the saw allowed me to shrug off the question, thinking it must have been myself asking myself for some water or a damp cold cloth. Well that is when it happened the crowning moment of the day, that large branch was about to fall from this mighty tree. With the cahinsaw about 3/4th of the way through the limb, I heard my self screaming at my self... "ST P CUT ING, D MMY!!!!" I heard the tone of my voice and recognized it as urgent, but the saw was too loud to know for sure. This is when I made the split decision to just go ahead and finish the cutting motion before finding out what was being yelled at me. I then turned off the saw and sat there covered in sweat and woodchips, and asked myself what it was he was trying to tell me. All he responded with was, "You dummy." Being easily drawn into name calling, I proceeded to call myself a dummy, but added face after dummy. Next, it was my mom that wanted to chime in with her usual, "How are you going to get down?" If I had dime for every time I heard that growing up, I would have been able to afford those Converse Allstars I always wanted. Suffering from dehydration and being a bit of a smart aleck, I sassyly replied, "I will jump down to this limb and then it is a piece of cake from there. I have done it a million times! GOSH!" Next, in what seemed like practiced precision, my mom and myself both exclaimed, "Better think again, Dummy face!"
Crap. That limb I was planning to jump down to--that was so easy to get down from--was now laying 23 feet down, on the grass, no doubt having mixed emotions between pain and sheer joy in the fat that I was screwed. Mustering up all the confidence I could, I replied, "I'm fine." Time to size up the situation: I have to make it 15 feet down a 3 foot in diameter oak tree to get to the next useful limb, my mom, myself and a tree limb are all lauphing at me, an I feel like I have just run in the Iron Man Classic. After taking a rest, and lowering the saw to my dad, who was surprising quiet through the whole ordeal,(I later found out he was arguing with himself about letting me go up that high in the first place)I came to the decision that taking my shirt off earlier in the day, to show my pale skin some sunshine was probably one of my worst ideas in months. For the only way in which to get from point A to point B,(A being where I was, B where I needed to get 15 feet away) was to shimmy down the tree, bear style, till my feet got to that next limb. Lets all think about this senerio. Bare stomach and arms, tired stomach and arms, 15 feet, oak tree. All of this added together makes for a memorable Fourth of July for sure. In fact it has been a memorable 5-7th of July as well, as I am reminded of my stupidity every time I move. Well, I hope all of you listened to yourselves better then I did this past holiday. I know that I will be paying way more attention to dummy face in the future. Until next time.
Perfect job, except for that one last limb that needed to be chopped, but it was way up in the trees. "Hey, your a athletic young man!" I thought to myself, "why don't you shimmy up that tree like the good ole days and cut that limb down?" Ignoring the craziness of talking to myself, I thought it was the best idea I had had since changing from boxers to briefs. I proceded to make my way up that tree like a pro. I did have too stop twice to catch my breath, which seems like it would have reminded me, that this was not what happened in the good ole days but, I got to the branch I needed to chop down pulled my self up on it and nestled myself in what seemed like twigs right above that limb. Taking a minute to let my sweating subdue to a mild trickle I lowered the rope I brought with me down to my dad, in which he tied the chainsaw to this rope and in turn pulled it back up to my paws. Needless to say I had to take another few minutes.
Let me explain the size of this limb I was about to chop down, it was medium size but large enouph to kill a boy scout troupe if it fell on them. I was cutting out a sizeable area of this tree, and mind you, I was about 25 feet in the air. My next memory was a combination of two phases that filled my head at once. As I asked myself, "Is this the best angle you should be cutting this limb from?" my mom's voice echoed in my head, "GET DOWN FROM UP THERE THIS INSTANT!" This caused me to forget to answer the question I asked myself, and it also put me right back into the good 'ole days! I used to love to scare my mom by swinging from trees, jumping from one tree to the other and even by falling from the trees. Luckily my head broke the fall each time. So, there I am waving my mom off, sweating profusely, breathing heavy, starting the chainsaw and about to cut off this main limb. One more time I heard myself ask something, "Ar ou ure his is the r ght an le?" The noise of the saw allowed me to shrug off the question, thinking it must have been myself asking myself for some water or a damp cold cloth. Well that is when it happened the crowning moment of the day, that large branch was about to fall from this mighty tree. With the cahinsaw about 3/4th of the way through the limb, I heard my self screaming at my self... "ST P CUT ING, D MMY!!!!" I heard the tone of my voice and recognized it as urgent, but the saw was too loud to know for sure. This is when I made the split decision to just go ahead and finish the cutting motion before finding out what was being yelled at me. I then turned off the saw and sat there covered in sweat and woodchips, and asked myself what it was he was trying to tell me. All he responded with was, "You dummy." Being easily drawn into name calling, I proceeded to call myself a dummy, but added face after dummy. Next, it was my mom that wanted to chime in with her usual, "How are you going to get down?" If I had dime for every time I heard that growing up, I would have been able to afford those Converse Allstars I always wanted. Suffering from dehydration and being a bit of a smart aleck, I sassyly replied, "I will jump down to this limb and then it is a piece of cake from there. I have done it a million times! GOSH!" Next, in what seemed like practiced precision, my mom and myself both exclaimed, "Better think again, Dummy face!"
Crap. That limb I was planning to jump down to--that was so easy to get down from--was now laying 23 feet down, on the grass, no doubt having mixed emotions between pain and sheer joy in the fat that I was screwed. Mustering up all the confidence I could, I replied, "I'm fine." Time to size up the situation: I have to make it 15 feet down a 3 foot in diameter oak tree to get to the next useful limb, my mom, myself and a tree limb are all lauphing at me, an I feel like I have just run in the Iron Man Classic. After taking a rest, and lowering the saw to my dad, who was surprising quiet through the whole ordeal,(I later found out he was arguing with himself about letting me go up that high in the first place)I came to the decision that taking my shirt off earlier in the day, to show my pale skin some sunshine was probably one of my worst ideas in months. For the only way in which to get from point A to point B,(A being where I was, B where I needed to get 15 feet away) was to shimmy down the tree, bear style, till my feet got to that next limb. Lets all think about this senerio. Bare stomach and arms, tired stomach and arms, 15 feet, oak tree. All of this added together makes for a memorable Fourth of July for sure. In fact it has been a memorable 5-7th of July as well, as I am reminded of my stupidity every time I move. Well, I hope all of you listened to yourselves better then I did this past holiday. I know that I will be paying way more attention to dummy face in the future. Until next time.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Bragging for Dummies
I woke up this morning and I had a revelation. It was too early to be waking up, so I went back to sleep. But the next time I woke up(eight minutes later) I had another revelation. I needed to write a blog like I used to. I should start off by telling you what I have been up to, then delve into the boring part, that is unless you always skip the part about my going ons because you think that part is boring. Anyways, point is until dues are seriously talked about at the next house meeting, this thing gets written pretty much just the way my fingers and brain decide it should be done. So, on that note, I watched a movie tonight, and if you must know the small details I did watch it alone. I viewed a movie about futbol hooligans, called Green Street Holligans. It was a British movie starring Elijah Wood and a bunch of other blokes. There was much fighting, a bunch of drinking, many foul words scattered in and back stabbing. Basically, if it was made in America it would have been based on fraternities. Seriously though, it was a good movie that taught some important lessons in life, but mainly just showed that the human face can take more punches then you would have thought other wise. Another prevalent occurrence in the movie was the consistent use up bragging. That got me thinking... what doesn't, I am sure your thinking. I know I don't know all that much about bragging(not a brag) but I do think I know more then all of you(a serious brag) so I thought I would whip up a few guidelines concerning the art of bragging. In no particular order....
Bragging mucst be BALLSY - Sorry to start with ballsy but it starts with B. OK, say you have reached a point in a conversation or an argument where you need to reach inside yourself for a brag, you can not come to the table with a week hearted tall tale. You need to always bring a strong and ardent brag or else you run the risk of not being taken serious. To be good a brag needs a bit of an edge to it.
Examples:
Bad Ballsy Brag - "My mom says I punch harder then both my sisters combined, so why don't you sit down before I show you what she is talking about."
Good Ballsy Brag - "These fists are banned in 49 states because of their deadly might, you want to be the reason it is all 50 states?"
Bragging must be RUDE - There is no such thing as a polite brag. Bragging is to be used in a discourteous manner. Bragging is to make you seem, look and feel better then the other person and there is no way to achieve this if your brags are anything but disrespectful.
Examples:
Bad Rude Brag - "My mom got me this awesome watch, it is way better then yours."
Good Rude Brag - "I have the best watch of any one on the street, because my dad is rich and powerful, and your dad is unemployed."
Bragging must be ABSOLUTE - Bragging needs not to have boundaries, but it does need a precise point. Bragging needs to be straight forward and spoken with heart. You can not be wishy-washy with a brag. This shows weakness, and a stronger bragger will pounce on this. If you are in the middle of a serious bragging session with a friend about fishing, do not brag about anything else while bragging about fishing. You must have an absolute and stick with it. (Hey, it started with A)
Examples:
Bad Absolute Brag - "My mom says I run faster then the wind, and I have a penny that is older then dirt."
Good Absolute Brag - "I have drivin a car over 200 miles an hour right by a cop and he didn't even pull me over, seven times, each time in a different car, each car over 80 grand!"
Bragging must be GRANDIOSE - When bragging, nothing is worse then a brag that fizzles because it is to blase. A good brag is a showy brag. A bad brag is a stale brag. If you are going to use bragging to show people you are better then them, why just be a little bit better? Use the opportunity that bragging supplies to really make the other person feel crappy by making your brag the best brag it can be!
Examples:
Bad Grandiose Brag - "I hung the moon, according to my mom."
Good Grandiose Brag - "I was once being hunted by a battalion of blood thirsty Japanese Soldiers, hell bent on capturing me and tormenting me within inches of my life. I was able to elude this group of about 190 soldiers for 5 weeks with only a Swiss army knife as a weapon. I was able to slowly take them out one by one, until it was just me left in the jungle. This happened on 7 different occations. I single handedly won that war. I am the best soldier on the planet. Hoo rahhh!"
So I guess as a recap I will point out that I am the first person ever to come up with such guidelines and not only the first such list, but the best such list because they make a acronym. So just remember when you are arguing with a friend, co-worker, boss, carnival workers or anyone, if you feel you need to one-up their story with one of your own, use my time tested guidelines to successful bragging.
Until next time.
Bragging mucst be BALLSY - Sorry to start with ballsy but it starts with B. OK, say you have reached a point in a conversation or an argument where you need to reach inside yourself for a brag, you can not come to the table with a week hearted tall tale. You need to always bring a strong and ardent brag or else you run the risk of not being taken serious. To be good a brag needs a bit of an edge to it.
Examples:
Bad Ballsy Brag - "My mom says I punch harder then both my sisters combined, so why don't you sit down before I show you what she is talking about."
Good Ballsy Brag - "These fists are banned in 49 states because of their deadly might, you want to be the reason it is all 50 states?"
Bragging must be RUDE - There is no such thing as a polite brag. Bragging is to be used in a discourteous manner. Bragging is to make you seem, look and feel better then the other person and there is no way to achieve this if your brags are anything but disrespectful.
Examples:
Bad Rude Brag - "My mom got me this awesome watch, it is way better then yours."
Good Rude Brag - "I have the best watch of any one on the street, because my dad is rich and powerful, and your dad is unemployed."
Bragging must be ABSOLUTE - Bragging needs not to have boundaries, but it does need a precise point. Bragging needs to be straight forward and spoken with heart. You can not be wishy-washy with a brag. This shows weakness, and a stronger bragger will pounce on this. If you are in the middle of a serious bragging session with a friend about fishing, do not brag about anything else while bragging about fishing. You must have an absolute and stick with it. (Hey, it started with A)
Examples:
Bad Absolute Brag - "My mom says I run faster then the wind, and I have a penny that is older then dirt."
Good Absolute Brag - "I have drivin a car over 200 miles an hour right by a cop and he didn't even pull me over, seven times, each time in a different car, each car over 80 grand!"
Bragging must be GRANDIOSE - When bragging, nothing is worse then a brag that fizzles because it is to blase. A good brag is a showy brag. A bad brag is a stale brag. If you are going to use bragging to show people you are better then them, why just be a little bit better? Use the opportunity that bragging supplies to really make the other person feel crappy by making your brag the best brag it can be!
Examples:
Bad Grandiose Brag - "I hung the moon, according to my mom."
Good Grandiose Brag - "I was once being hunted by a battalion of blood thirsty Japanese Soldiers, hell bent on capturing me and tormenting me within inches of my life. I was able to elude this group of about 190 soldiers for 5 weeks with only a Swiss army knife as a weapon. I was able to slowly take them out one by one, until it was just me left in the jungle. This happened on 7 different occations. I single handedly won that war. I am the best soldier on the planet. Hoo rahhh!"
So I guess as a recap I will point out that I am the first person ever to come up with such guidelines and not only the first such list, but the best such list because they make a acronym. So just remember when you are arguing with a friend, co-worker, boss, carnival workers or anyone, if you feel you need to one-up their story with one of your own, use my time tested guidelines to successful bragging.
GREAT BRAGGING IS:
B-bold
R-rude
A-absolute
G-grandiose
Until next time.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Heat Wave Goodbye
I have a big confession to make. No, it is not that I know every ABBA song word for word, I thought you already knew that. It is that... I for the first time since the Spurs were ripped from the NBA playoffs so heartbreakingly, watched another game of the playoffs. I actually ended my ban of the B-Ball tournament just for the hope of seeing what I saw tonight. The Dallas Mavericks and Mark Cuban lose. Do not get me wrong, I did not watch to see the Miami Heat win, I just wanted the team that caused my Los Cucos Mexican food to not settle for two weeks in my stomach(Mavs), to fall from the playoff in dramatic fashion, just like my Spurs did. I am not usually a vengeance filled person, but for some reason I took it personally that my Spurs lost that night at Los Cucos. I guess I did not cheer loud enouph or bang the bar hard enouph, something I did must have caused that loss. So I held the burden of blame that the "other Texas team" was going to win the championship this season. Well me and Manu Ginobili were going to share the blame for is insane foul. Well to be even more honest, Manu and I would actually take responsibility for one forth of the loss, where the refs would receive the other three fourths. But non-the-less it has been a heavy burden to bear. My legs have never been stronger, but I am so happy that it has been lifted off with the Heat winning the Championship. Man I can see the headlines now... A HEAT WAVE HITS DALLAS! That shouldn't make me happy, but it does and I am sorry if it doesn't make you happy. In fact I will take this opportunity to switch gears and talk about something that just came to my mind...
A HEAT WAVE HITS SAN ANTONIO! Is is hot or what? You don't have to really answer that. I didn't have time to call the Weather Channel to confirm this, but I am pretty sure it is the hottest June ever since 2005. I did how every have time to check my thesaurus and I agree with it that not only is it hot here in SA this week but it is also safe to say that it is baking, blazing, calescent, flaming, ovenlike, piping, roasting, scalding, sweltry, thermogenic and torrid. The heat has even reminded me that I need help with a problem I have been having lately. No, it is not problem of trying to learn what trendy is, that is a severe problem. What I am getting at is I have had bad sweaty back the last three days, when I have gone for my lunch at about 2:00 in the afternoon. It is becoming a problem. I hope your not eating as you read this. Anyways, I have thought long and hard about this for about 5 minutes and there are a few things I think I can do to help this problem out. If you think of more please let me know.
1.) Stop going to lunch. This seems to be the easiest solution on the surface, but when you take in to account that I am a lover of food, and I need it like wild out of control kids need a "Chill Pill," you quickly see that I need to leave to get lunch somewhere, preferably a buffet.
2.)Leave Car Running With AC on When I Get to Work in Morning. Again another idea that seems good on the surface. Unfortunately I do not get paid enouph to fill up my car every day at lunch because the gas burned up. And this would in turn cut into my eating time, that just will not work. As for getting rid of sweaty back these first two idea would be ideal, and I would still get to EAT!
3.) Lose Weight So Sweaty Back is Harder to Obtain. Wow. I think this is the only way to really eliminate sweaty lunch back, with out moving to Iceland. That would involve working out not eating out. Scary concept but it just might work. Because this idea gives me nightmares I will skip to idea 4.
4.) Wear Dark Shirts to Hide Evidence. Yes! Problem solved! I have a great Miami Heat dark navy shirt to wear! Hope that goes with my black cutoff jean shorts. Until next time.
A HEAT WAVE HITS SAN ANTONIO! Is is hot or what? You don't have to really answer that. I didn't have time to call the Weather Channel to confirm this, but I am pretty sure it is the hottest June ever since 2005. I did how every have time to check my thesaurus and I agree with it that not only is it hot here in SA this week but it is also safe to say that it is baking, blazing, calescent, flaming, ovenlike, piping, roasting, scalding, sweltry, thermogenic and torrid. The heat has even reminded me that I need help with a problem I have been having lately. No, it is not problem of trying to learn what trendy is, that is a severe problem. What I am getting at is I have had bad sweaty back the last three days, when I have gone for my lunch at about 2:00 in the afternoon. It is becoming a problem. I hope your not eating as you read this. Anyways, I have thought long and hard about this for about 5 minutes and there are a few things I think I can do to help this problem out. If you think of more please let me know.
1.) Stop going to lunch. This seems to be the easiest solution on the surface, but when you take in to account that I am a lover of food, and I need it like wild out of control kids need a "Chill Pill," you quickly see that I need to leave to get lunch somewhere, preferably a buffet.
2.)Leave Car Running With AC on When I Get to Work in Morning. Again another idea that seems good on the surface. Unfortunately I do not get paid enouph to fill up my car every day at lunch because the gas burned up. And this would in turn cut into my eating time, that just will not work. As for getting rid of sweaty back these first two idea would be ideal, and I would still get to EAT!
3.) Lose Weight So Sweaty Back is Harder to Obtain. Wow. I think this is the only way to really eliminate sweaty lunch back, with out moving to Iceland. That would involve working out not eating out. Scary concept but it just might work. Because this idea gives me nightmares I will skip to idea 4.
4.) Wear Dark Shirts to Hide Evidence. Yes! Problem solved! I have a great Miami Heat dark navy shirt to wear! Hope that goes with my black cutoff jean shorts. Until next time.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
A little more about me...
I figured that since this is my blog, I can do with it what I like. And I would like to take about five minutes of your time to talk solely about myself. You may be thinking that , that is all I do on here anyways, and you would be wrong. Most other times when I talk about myself, I have been lying. So this one will be straight forward, honest and should have very few parts exaggerated. I was thinking about how exactly to type about myself in a way that would let all the people that don't know me to well outside of the internet to really get a grasp of what I am like if I am seen in person. I figured the best way would be to pretend that I am standing in front of a huge audience of my readers, ok... well a semi circle of fold out chairs in a living room would be more like it. I thought it would be best to type what I would share if this were a live audience. So here goes.
me: Hi, welcome to my parents living room, they graciously stepped out for their evening walk so that I could have the room to myself and have you all over. My mom did make her famous and my favorite, M&M cookies, so please help your self at any time.
person in audience: Do you still live here?
me: Yes, it is just temporary though. Let's move on...
person in audience: Aren't you almost 30, why do you live here?
me: ummmm, twenty eight is a long way from thirty, and I did stay in a dorm in college. But I will have a question and answer time later if you would like to hold all....
person in audience: Why don't you move out, dork!
me: ummmmm... Because right now I am trying to save up as much money as I can so that I can travel the world and meet hot chicks from new and exciting countries! I Was going to start my speech about myself actually with sharing with you that I like to tre....
person in audience: What happens when you tell the "hot chick from new countries" that your almost 30 and live at home?! HAHAHAHAHAHA
me: ummm. First off, like I said twenty eight is no where near 30, and second of all, I would hope that any respectable girl would find my honesty in sharing such a tidbit would find me desirable.
female in audience: No she wouldn't, she would find it creepy and slap you. Why do you still live at home, dork? hahaha
me: Trust me pretty lady....
female in audience: Don't call me that, or I'll break your arms.
me: Ummm... aaaa... I was just going to say that it is not a permanent housing plan. I have goals and aspirations. I will have a great job and make six figures one day, and I will be a great husband...
person in audience: No you won't.
me: Well, you are certainly in titled to your opinion, but that is just what it is your opinion, not the groups...
the whole audience: Yes it is.
me: Ummmmm.... shall I continue..... I'll take the silence as a yes. Travel is not my only love. I also love movies. I own about 350 DVD now and I.....
person in audience: You really are a dork.
me: Umm please hold all comments until the end, my parents only make two laps around the block and I am hoping we have time at the end to talk about the possibility of dues being paid to read my blog. I was thinking that....
person in audience: You have to be kidding. What are you going to charge us for these terrible cookies too? Dork.
me: Well, that is voluntary actually, the little jar next to the cookies is supposed to be for tips, but don't feel obligated. As for the dues, we can take a vote at the end of this...
whole audience: We all vote no.
me: ummmm... I respect your choice, shall I continue?
whole audience: NO!
me: ummm... So, I guess that brings this to a close, I am glad you all came out tonight, and would like to answer any questions you might have besides "why do you....
whole audience: WHY DO YOU LIVE AT HOME WHEN YOU ARE ALMOST THIRTY!!!!! Dork!
me: please leave.
whole group: Gladly.
me: **cry**
UNTIL NEXT TIME
p.s. Just to clear some things up. I do not live at home. Twenty eight IS a long way from thirty. I do like to travel. I am not a dork. And I wouldn't really cry.
me: Hi, welcome to my parents living room, they graciously stepped out for their evening walk so that I could have the room to myself and have you all over. My mom did make her famous and my favorite, M&M cookies, so please help your self at any time.
person in audience: Do you still live here?
me: Yes, it is just temporary though. Let's move on...
person in audience: Aren't you almost 30, why do you live here?
me: ummmm, twenty eight is a long way from thirty, and I did stay in a dorm in college. But I will have a question and answer time later if you would like to hold all....
person in audience: Why don't you move out, dork!
me: ummmmm... Because right now I am trying to save up as much money as I can so that I can travel the world and meet hot chicks from new and exciting countries! I Was going to start my speech about myself actually with sharing with you that I like to tre....
person in audience: What happens when you tell the "hot chick from new countries" that your almost 30 and live at home?! HAHAHAHAHAHA
me: ummm. First off, like I said twenty eight is no where near 30, and second of all, I would hope that any respectable girl would find my honesty in sharing such a tidbit would find me desirable.
female in audience: No she wouldn't, she would find it creepy and slap you. Why do you still live at home, dork? hahaha
me: Trust me pretty lady....
female in audience: Don't call me that, or I'll break your arms.
me: Ummm... aaaa... I was just going to say that it is not a permanent housing plan. I have goals and aspirations. I will have a great job and make six figures one day, and I will be a great husband...
person in audience: No you won't.
me: Well, you are certainly in titled to your opinion, but that is just what it is your opinion, not the groups...
the whole audience: Yes it is.
me: Ummmmm.... shall I continue..... I'll take the silence as a yes. Travel is not my only love. I also love movies. I own about 350 DVD now and I.....
person in audience: You really are a dork.
me: Umm please hold all comments until the end, my parents only make two laps around the block and I am hoping we have time at the end to talk about the possibility of dues being paid to read my blog. I was thinking that....
person in audience: You have to be kidding. What are you going to charge us for these terrible cookies too? Dork.
me: Well, that is voluntary actually, the little jar next to the cookies is supposed to be for tips, but don't feel obligated. As for the dues, we can take a vote at the end of this...
whole audience: We all vote no.
me: ummmm... I respect your choice, shall I continue?
whole audience: NO!
me: ummm... So, I guess that brings this to a close, I am glad you all came out tonight, and would like to answer any questions you might have besides "why do you....
whole audience: WHY DO YOU LIVE AT HOME WHEN YOU ARE ALMOST THIRTY!!!!! Dork!
me: please leave.
whole group: Gladly.
me: **cry**
UNTIL NEXT TIME
p.s. Just to clear some things up. I do not live at home. Twenty eight IS a long way from thirty. I do like to travel. I am not a dork. And I wouldn't really cry.
Monday, June 12, 2006
The World Cup o' Tea
Let me start with a quick explanation of why I have not written a blog in over two months. I was conducting a test. I wanted to see if anyone would miss my blog. And since only one person did I just about gave up on it. But that one person, kept hounding me to write another one, so I gave in and am back at it. Oh yeah that one person, was me. "So, lets get started, Kev." "OK! Kev"
June is proving to be a busy month for sports fans. I will attempt to share with you(and when I say you I am implying me)my incite on each of the sporting events that seem to be filling this month. I guess I will go in order of importance starting with the least meaningful and shall end with the best, mainly because that is how I would like to read it.
WNBA Regular Season - I have to admit that I am not a fan of women's basketball. It has too slow of a pace and not enouph dunking. Strangely enouph, if you took down every persons name that attended a WNBA game and compared it to the Legalizing Gay Marriage petition, they would be about 90% identical.
NHL Championships - This seems like a sport I would really like. I like to skate. I like physical play. There is no jumping involved. And it would be perfect for my short temper. The thing is living in Texas my whole life I was never introduced to the sport. So I just small glimpses of it here and there. Though I like to watch the fighting and I like to see people get splattered into the wall, I still can not put it above any of the sports left.
College Softball Championships - I have to admit that I do like to watch girls softball. Just in little doses. Though there is a good amount of "butch" softball gals, I find that over half are an athletic hot. They don't get higher on my list of June sports though because they chant the entire game in unison, and they all throw like girls.
Major League Baseball - There is a reason most people you talk to about baseball say it is boring. That is because it is. I can really only watch baseball in the Fall and only then because we only have football on the weekends. Lately all you hear about baseball is the fact that almost 75% of the players are cheating dummies and their leader is Barry Bonds, so that has turned me off of baseball for the month at least.
College Baseball Championships - To me college sports are always more exciting then their professional counterpart, except in table tennis, the pros rule that one. So for baseball it is nice to see true competition going on in June, from athletes that play for the right reasons. Well, they play there asses off so that they can make it to the big leagues to play for money instead of for love of the game. If bikini clad women would walk the bases holding up what inning was about to start I think attendance would go up.
Wimbleton - Tennis is great to watch, when I remember too. The women's field is filled with scrumptious eye candy, and the men's field is so deep right now that it makes for good matches all around. But now to talk a bit about the down side of tennis. It does get a bit repetitive, and there are next to zero fights.
NBA championships - I do love the NBA. I am just really mad at it right now, so it is with great effort to put it this high. I can not believe David Stern scripted the Spurs to lose to Dallas. Though I am banning the Finals this year because I am bitter and a sore loser, I have really loved the Finals 3 out of the last 8 years. The Spurs are still Champions in my eyes. I have been wearing the pair of disposible contacts for over 2 months though.
THE WORLD CUP - The World Cup for those of you that do not know is the Championships for Soccer. Not the US Championships, the WORLD Championships. Teams play for 4 years to qualify for the chance to be one of 32 teams to be invited to play. This is really the truest world contest there is. I heard that audience wise, it is four times larger then the Olympics, so that means it is a really big deal. It has taken hold of me as well this month. It is the only sporting event I have watched. I have watched all or part of every game that has been on so far, which shows I am a true fan, and that I am still single. Countries pause their lives for one full month while they follow their countries progress in the Cup. The USA does not. I wish we would be cause not only is it fun to watch(I know this is a controversial statement, but I also know that I exaggerated a bit too), but I think it would be more fun to be a fan of the game. They have more team spirit then any fans I have ever seen, besides some Raiders fans. They get to riot and it is encouraged, I think. I mean look at these fans.
Where else can you see this kind of pure enjoyment, besides Chuck E. Cheese of course. So I challenge all of you(me) to watch The World Cup this month. You might find out that is better then you though, better then all these other sports going on right now. Until next time.
June is proving to be a busy month for sports fans. I will attempt to share with you(and when I say you I am implying me)my incite on each of the sporting events that seem to be filling this month. I guess I will go in order of importance starting with the least meaningful and shall end with the best, mainly because that is how I would like to read it.
WNBA Regular Season - I have to admit that I am not a fan of women's basketball. It has too slow of a pace and not enouph dunking. Strangely enouph, if you took down every persons name that attended a WNBA game and compared it to the Legalizing Gay Marriage petition, they would be about 90% identical.
NHL Championships - This seems like a sport I would really like. I like to skate. I like physical play. There is no jumping involved. And it would be perfect for my short temper. The thing is living in Texas my whole life I was never introduced to the sport. So I just small glimpses of it here and there. Though I like to watch the fighting and I like to see people get splattered into the wall, I still can not put it above any of the sports left.
College Softball Championships - I have to admit that I do like to watch girls softball. Just in little doses. Though there is a good amount of "butch" softball gals, I find that over half are an athletic hot. They don't get higher on my list of June sports though because they chant the entire game in unison, and they all throw like girls.
Major League Baseball - There is a reason most people you talk to about baseball say it is boring. That is because it is. I can really only watch baseball in the Fall and only then because we only have football on the weekends. Lately all you hear about baseball is the fact that almost 75% of the players are cheating dummies and their leader is Barry Bonds, so that has turned me off of baseball for the month at least.
College Baseball Championships - To me college sports are always more exciting then their professional counterpart, except in table tennis, the pros rule that one. So for baseball it is nice to see true competition going on in June, from athletes that play for the right reasons. Well, they play there asses off so that they can make it to the big leagues to play for money instead of for love of the game. If bikini clad women would walk the bases holding up what inning was about to start I think attendance would go up.
Wimbleton - Tennis is great to watch, when I remember too. The women's field is filled with scrumptious eye candy, and the men's field is so deep right now that it makes for good matches all around. But now to talk a bit about the down side of tennis. It does get a bit repetitive, and there are next to zero fights.
NBA championships - I do love the NBA. I am just really mad at it right now, so it is with great effort to put it this high. I can not believe David Stern scripted the Spurs to lose to Dallas. Though I am banning the Finals this year because I am bitter and a sore loser, I have really loved the Finals 3 out of the last 8 years. The Spurs are still Champions in my eyes. I have been wearing the pair of disposible contacts for over 2 months though.
THE WORLD CUP - The World Cup for those of you that do not know is the Championships for Soccer. Not the US Championships, the WORLD Championships. Teams play for 4 years to qualify for the chance to be one of 32 teams to be invited to play. This is really the truest world contest there is. I heard that audience wise, it is four times larger then the Olympics, so that means it is a really big deal. It has taken hold of me as well this month. It is the only sporting event I have watched. I have watched all or part of every game that has been on so far, which shows I am a true fan, and that I am still single. Countries pause their lives for one full month while they follow their countries progress in the Cup. The USA does not. I wish we would be cause not only is it fun to watch(I know this is a controversial statement, but I also know that I exaggerated a bit too), but I think it would be more fun to be a fan of the game. They have more team spirit then any fans I have ever seen, besides some Raiders fans. They get to riot and it is encouraged, I think. I mean look at these fans.
Where else can you see this kind of pure enjoyment, besides Chuck E. Cheese of course. So I challenge all of you(me) to watch The World Cup this month. You might find out that is better then you though, better then all these other sports going on right now. Until next time.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Weddings, Taxes and Razors.
Let me start off by saying that I know it has been some time since I have last blogged, and it is well known the reason behind not blogging. That would be the My-Space Evil Empire and I apologize. But what is done is done. And we all need to move on or some how find a way to co-exist. Anyways... Here are my thoughts on a few things that have happened to me, almost passed me by, and cut me.
It is no big secret that I am smart, however it is a secret that I am smart. Let me explain:) I have had a realization over the past weekend. I am literally growing up before my very own eyes. It is quite amazing. I fisrt noticed it while I attended a good friends wedding last weekend. The wedding showed me that I am nowhere near that, that being having even a date. It did however, spark my first serious thought about weddings and marriage since last time I saw Wedding Crashers. That is when I knew I was growing up before my very own eyes. No longer did I think that this was something to put off and put off, it was something I needed to do, and do quick or there could be serious consequences. I of course am talking about filing my taxes here, for I learned this week that it is so much smarter to file your taxes in February, rather then April 15th with 6 million other people, especially when you are getting a fat return. And, yes I learned this the hard way, but I still did learn something and that is all part of growing up in front of your own eyes. I know now that it is sometimes better to do things the right way so that it does not come back and burn you later. I am talking about shaving now, of course, for I have finally learned the correct way to shave with out your neck catching on fire and looking like you tried to hang your self with an extension cord. The secret is to use the new Gillette Fusion. It has five razors, all designed and created for comfort. And a sixth one.... but I am not sure what that one is for yet it still is the best thing that has happened to my face since Snow White kissed my cheek at Disney World(last may). It makes growing up in front of your own eyes easier to look at too. It also shows that it is just so important to pick out something that will bring a smile to your face and work well with you, and help you better your self. And of course I am talking about marriage and weddings again:) So it is these three life changing things that are not only easily interchangeable but life shaping as well. The three of them have taught me more in one weekend then I have learned in 28 years of watching Monty Python's Meaning of Life. I know I am the better for making these connections, hopefully you are two. Now, you go and find your own connections in life's everyday journey. Just watch out for Until next time.
It is no big secret that I am smart, however it is a secret that I am smart. Let me explain:) I have had a realization over the past weekend. I am literally growing up before my very own eyes. It is quite amazing. I fisrt noticed it while I attended a good friends wedding last weekend. The wedding showed me that I am nowhere near that, that being having even a date. It did however, spark my first serious thought about weddings and marriage since last time I saw Wedding Crashers. That is when I knew I was growing up before my very own eyes. No longer did I think that this was something to put off and put off, it was something I needed to do, and do quick or there could be serious consequences. I of course am talking about filing my taxes here, for I learned this week that it is so much smarter to file your taxes in February, rather then April 15th with 6 million other people, especially when you are getting a fat return. And, yes I learned this the hard way, but I still did learn something and that is all part of growing up in front of your own eyes. I know now that it is sometimes better to do things the right way so that it does not come back and burn you later. I am talking about shaving now, of course, for I have finally learned the correct way to shave with out your neck catching on fire and looking like you tried to hang your self with an extension cord. The secret is to use the new Gillette Fusion. It has five razors, all designed and created for comfort. And a sixth one.... but I am not sure what that one is for yet it still is the best thing that has happened to my face since Snow White kissed my cheek at Disney World(last may). It makes growing up in front of your own eyes easier to look at too. It also shows that it is just so important to pick out something that will bring a smile to your face and work well with you, and help you better your self. And of course I am talking about marriage and weddings again:) So it is these three life changing things that are not only easily interchangeable but life shaping as well. The three of them have taught me more in one weekend then I have learned in 28 years of watching Monty Python's Meaning of Life. I know I am the better for making these connections, hopefully you are two. Now, you go and find your own connections in life's everyday journey. Just watch out for Until next time.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Blogs-on-Demand
Let me start by saying that this is weird. I haven't done this in so long it might take me 15 sentences or so to write something that is worth reading. So, for that matter, I will talk about what I have been up to for the first 12 sentences. I have been getting older. I don't mean just 28 days older, which is how long it has been since I have written a blog. I also don't want you to confuse my growing older with me growing wiser, for unfortunately that is not has not been the case either. I have however treated my body so badly that it(my body) has teamed up with, most likely with my mom, to nearly disable me and make me feel old and decrepit.(Ok, I apologize to the seriously old and decrepit, but I also know that if you are seriously old and decrepit you are not on computers.) Ok, so I have attempted over the past couple of months to do things I have done my whole life, which are listed here in no particular order... stupid. I am athletic(kind of)always up for a game of basketball or video games, I did however have a notion that I was also a great football player, even though I never played it. So what do I do? ok ok ok I am way past 15 sentences, and you don't care, so on to more stuff...
I want to share with you my new hobby. Tivo and On-Demand television. I shell out 8 extra single each month to have this technology pumped right into my room. YES, a clicker's reach away from my bed, and computer chair. And it is sad(what isn't when you really know me) but that is where I spend every waking hour. I have watched entire seasons of shows that I do not even care about just because I can. I have watched every series on HBO and Showtime, all while keeping up with Lost, 24, Amazing Race, Deadliest Catch, Pimp My Truck, Greys Anatomy, Boston Legal, OC and Sponge Bob Square Pants. It is really amazing(read: sad). I have sat in this room so long staring at the TV I am starting to look very pale and my eyes are falling to the back of my head. It is really amazing(read: exaggerated). This weekend I was informed about a channel that I did not know existed. Exercise-on-Demand. Channel 980 or something. The thing is you can bring up Pilates, Yoga, Stretching, Abs, Running, Meditation classes at any time. Now, I really don't ever have to leave my room but to eat and go to work. It is really amazing(read:amazing). Well, it was amazing till I just attempted a level two Abs class taught by a Nazi with steel abs. I am now forced to write this blog laying on the floor, because my abdominals hurt so bad I can not get myself off the floor. It is really quite amazing(read: "I need help!") So, I think tomorrow I am going to try something that sounds easier like this one I saw on there, "Breathing made Easy". But the whole, Tivo and On-Demand stuff is pretty cool, I just wish I could better limit myself to how much TV I watch a night, because it has gotten out of control lately. But hey that is my life's weakness, not knowing how to or when to stop doing things that are bad for me. Like right now it is 230 and I should be asleep, but I just can't seem to stop and go to bed. It is really amazing(read: no it is't). So on that note I will show a bit of control and go to bed before it gets much later. First, I got to watch a show though! Until next time.
I want to share with you my new hobby. Tivo and On-Demand television. I shell out 8 extra single each month to have this technology pumped right into my room. YES, a clicker's reach away from my bed, and computer chair. And it is sad(what isn't when you really know me) but that is where I spend every waking hour. I have watched entire seasons of shows that I do not even care about just because I can. I have watched every series on HBO and Showtime, all while keeping up with Lost, 24, Amazing Race, Deadliest Catch, Pimp My Truck, Greys Anatomy, Boston Legal, OC and Sponge Bob Square Pants. It is really amazing(read: sad). I have sat in this room so long staring at the TV I am starting to look very pale and my eyes are falling to the back of my head. It is really amazing(read: exaggerated). This weekend I was informed about a channel that I did not know existed. Exercise-on-Demand. Channel 980 or something. The thing is you can bring up Pilates, Yoga, Stretching, Abs, Running, Meditation classes at any time. Now, I really don't ever have to leave my room but to eat and go to work. It is really amazing(read:amazing). Well, it was amazing till I just attempted a level two Abs class taught by a Nazi with steel abs. I am now forced to write this blog laying on the floor, because my abdominals hurt so bad I can not get myself off the floor. It is really quite amazing(read: "I need help!") So, I think tomorrow I am going to try something that sounds easier like this one I saw on there, "Breathing made Easy". But the whole, Tivo and On-Demand stuff is pretty cool, I just wish I could better limit myself to how much TV I watch a night, because it has gotten out of control lately. But hey that is my life's weakness, not knowing how to or when to stop doing things that are bad for me. Like right now it is 230 and I should be asleep, but I just can't seem to stop and go to bed. It is really amazing(read: no it is't). So on that note I will show a bit of control and go to bed before it gets much later. First, I got to watch a show though! Until next time.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
The Three Burials of Kevin Morris
Before you all start cheering and fighting over my belongings, I did not really die. I did not even almost die. I just saw a movie this weekend by Tommy Lee Jones, and I liked the title so much I figured I would steal it. The problem is I do not know how to make a blog or a story coincide with that title. But I will try anyways.
Burial one. I took a huge step this weekend. Not distance wise, because I have short legs, I mean mentally. I killed off one of my personalities. One of the ones I seldom use. It was the personality that controls all of my fashion taste. I decided that other people need to just pick clothes for me, maybe even dress me too. I have no idea what trendy is. I had a slight idea one year when I bought a pair of jeans that came with bleach wrinkles in it, and I wore that pair every time I wanted to feel trendy. But about two weeks ago that pair split open and I was back to wearing Walmart brand highwaters. I am so far behind the times that I still think my Doc Martins are trendy. I know that most of you have even forgot that these shoes even existed, but I know of one pair that does, and is used quite a bit. I was going to wear them out on the town this weekend and I was stopped in my tracks by my more trendy friends and they told me that I could not wear those shoes out in public with them. They preceded to lock me in the bathroom and they went on their way. So I figured it was time to just do away with that personality all together. I will have to give clothes picking out duties to a different personality, one that is not overloaded with duties. That would be my books/reading personality. This way maybe I will start to pick clothes that look good. I am good at judging a book by its cover so maybe I can use that mentality when I go to the mall or Solo Serve next time. The main point is however, that I did bury my fashion taste personality.
Burial Two. My second burial was more a dream I had this past week. I had stayed out late on a work night, had been to Cowboys, and had had a few adult beverages. All of these mixed together with paranoia that I wouldn't wake up in time for work and be fired, made for the best recipe for crazy dreams. In this dream I was me, but I was a me that had been created in the image of Steve Erwin. If you do not know who Steve Erwin is, he is the bloke who when people are running away from dangerous life taking animals, he is running at them with a goofy grin, an accent and bare hands. He is the Crocodile Hunter if you still need help. Anyways, in my dream I was catching ferocious varments and snakes with my hands at ease. With each dangerous animal I caught, the harder the task got. I went from catching a squirrel, to a jackalope, to a badger, to a bald eagle. Then the tougher stuff started happening. I caught a skunk, a rabid fox, a small alligator, and a rattle snake under a rock. Next, was a huge crocodile and then the grandaddy of them all was about to take place next. A nest of water moccasins 12 feet deep in a river of heavily flowing water. I think my real life extreme fear of swimming underwater onto a nest of water moccasins caused my dream self to hesitate when he shouldn't have, because, the next thing I know I am dreaming of myself being vi=olently attacked by what seemed like 300 snakes. I was covered from head to toe in snakes that had a firm grip of my skin with their fangs and I was flailing my arms and legs.... Ahhh I was doing the same thing in real life, flailing around on my bed, kicking the covers off, and sweating. Needless to say, I was up in time for work because of not being able to get back to bed, and I luckily did not have to go through with the end of the dream, where I would be buried at the bottom of the river.
Burial Three. In keeping with the movie in which I took its title, I will leave the third burial up to the audience to read into. Maybe some of you want me dead so that you can get my big TV or drive my sweet car. Maybe some of you want me to stop having deadpan humor, and write about things that make since to at least middle schoolers. Still others just might think I am dead wrong about both of the last two ideas. So what ever the case, I am going to bury my 30 pound head into my pillow and and hopefully fall dead asleep. Until next time.
Burial one. I took a huge step this weekend. Not distance wise, because I have short legs, I mean mentally. I killed off one of my personalities. One of the ones I seldom use. It was the personality that controls all of my fashion taste. I decided that other people need to just pick clothes for me, maybe even dress me too. I have no idea what trendy is. I had a slight idea one year when I bought a pair of jeans that came with bleach wrinkles in it, and I wore that pair every time I wanted to feel trendy. But about two weeks ago that pair split open and I was back to wearing Walmart brand highwaters. I am so far behind the times that I still think my Doc Martins are trendy. I know that most of you have even forgot that these shoes even existed, but I know of one pair that does, and is used quite a bit. I was going to wear them out on the town this weekend and I was stopped in my tracks by my more trendy friends and they told me that I could not wear those shoes out in public with them. They preceded to lock me in the bathroom and they went on their way. So I figured it was time to just do away with that personality all together. I will have to give clothes picking out duties to a different personality, one that is not overloaded with duties. That would be my books/reading personality. This way maybe I will start to pick clothes that look good. I am good at judging a book by its cover so maybe I can use that mentality when I go to the mall or Solo Serve next time. The main point is however, that I did bury my fashion taste personality.
Burial Two. My second burial was more a dream I had this past week. I had stayed out late on a work night, had been to Cowboys, and had had a few adult beverages. All of these mixed together with paranoia that I wouldn't wake up in time for work and be fired, made for the best recipe for crazy dreams. In this dream I was me, but I was a me that had been created in the image of Steve Erwin. If you do not know who Steve Erwin is, he is the bloke who when people are running away from dangerous life taking animals, he is running at them with a goofy grin, an accent and bare hands. He is the Crocodile Hunter if you still need help. Anyways, in my dream I was catching ferocious varments and snakes with my hands at ease. With each dangerous animal I caught, the harder the task got. I went from catching a squirrel, to a jackalope, to a badger, to a bald eagle. Then the tougher stuff started happening. I caught a skunk, a rabid fox, a small alligator, and a rattle snake under a rock. Next, was a huge crocodile and then the grandaddy of them all was about to take place next. A nest of water moccasins 12 feet deep in a river of heavily flowing water. I think my real life extreme fear of swimming underwater onto a nest of water moccasins caused my dream self to hesitate when he shouldn't have, because, the next thing I know I am dreaming of myself being vi=olently attacked by what seemed like 300 snakes. I was covered from head to toe in snakes that had a firm grip of my skin with their fangs and I was flailing my arms and legs.... Ahhh I was doing the same thing in real life, flailing around on my bed, kicking the covers off, and sweating. Needless to say, I was up in time for work because of not being able to get back to bed, and I luckily did not have to go through with the end of the dream, where I would be buried at the bottom of the river.
Burial Three. In keeping with the movie in which I took its title, I will leave the third burial up to the audience to read into. Maybe some of you want me dead so that you can get my big TV or drive my sweet car. Maybe some of you want me to stop having deadpan humor, and write about things that make since to at least middle schoolers. Still others just might think I am dead wrong about both of the last two ideas. So what ever the case, I am going to bury my 30 pound head into my pillow and and hopefully fall dead asleep. Until next time.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
MySpace-by-Boris
Do you remember the old quote your parents used to tell you right after you explained to them that everyone was doing it. "Well if everyone was jumping off a cliff, would you?" Well, I unfortunately would probably jump off the cliff if everyone was, which is exactly why I now have a My Space account. In fact this will take you there. It is not a lavish effort, yet. I have now spent 4 hours on it and it looks like I have spent 4 minutes on it. It is frustrating and fascinating at the same time. I basically already don't like it, but at the same time I can not concentrate on this blog because I am thinking of stuff to do to my My Space page. Basically, I have out dorked myself. But if everyone else is doing it can't be so bad. I heard a stat that almost 50 million people have a my space account. That is a lot of people jumping off a cliff. Anyways, I think the only people that read MyBlog have a MySpace account too so I will refrain from bashing us too much more. You know who is a bit up set with my new friend? My Blog. She sees the writing on the wall that I will be spending much more time with MySpace and she will get the cold shoulder. But that is not true I think I like MyBlog more because she is so simple and laid back. MySpace is a wild girl and I am not sure I am ready to put the time and effort into making our friendship grow like it should. I do think I might lead her on for a while and maybe just make it as a place where you can find a link to my true love: MyBlog. So even as I am about to finnish this blog I realize that MySpace has wasted one whole night of my MyLife. I am up at 2:15 still needing to finnish laundry and still not ready to go to bed. And all I have to show for it is 5 new friends. Wait, it took me 7 months to get five readers on this thing, and five hour to get five friends on MySpace. Maybe I will spend my nights and days working on MySpace just like 50 million other people, 1,2,3... jump. Until next MyTime.
Monday, February 20, 2006
The Six Hundred Penny Man
I realized something important this weekend. That I am not indestructible. For some reason I always thought I was. Well, I thought I was tough at lest. I entered a flag football tournament with my friends and drove to Austin to compete in it this past weekend. Sounds simple and fun right: throwing the football around, some friendly competition, a good workout and some fresh air. With the weather we have been having all January and February, I thought we would have great 75 degree weather with the sun out. Well, I will have you know it was 21 degrees with the wind chill and the sun was hidden behind thick clouds that produced a steady mist for us, and kicked up a vicious wind. So, trying to warm up my body for the game was next to impossible. Especially after being cramped in the back seat of a car for a hour and a half drive to the fields. Another problem we ran into was the small fact that we had not practiced once for this tournament. So our warm up consisted mainly just jumping up and down and asking each other, "What in the heck are wee doing here?" Well, our first game started and on the first play we got penalized for breaking the rules. Our second play we broke a different one. Third play we threw it to the other team. This is pretty much how the first game went. Actually, about four scrapes, two pulled muscles, a few jammed fingers and a bloody nose happened as well. Not a great first showing. We had a break between this first disaster and the next one so we decided to go back to the camped car and sit with the heater on instead of finding a rule book and learn how to play the game right. Our second game went about as well as the first one. This one had dislocated hips, sprained ankles, muscle tears, and black eyes as well. I had come into this tournament thinking I was the 6 Million Dollar Man but after this second game, the second crushing defeat in freezing temperatures, I was starting to feel more like a 6 Thousand Dollar Man. After the second lost, we mad another decision to sprint to the car and sit, this time we even got fuel for our bodies, Sonic burgers. Great fuel for athletes. We made it back in time for our third game (full and warm) and came up one vote short to just quit and drive home. But this is where our fortune changed. The team we were scheduled to play came up one vote short to even come to the tournament, so we won the game by default. Yes! This was a big moral boost. I was starting to feel more like a 600 Thousand Dollar Man. We stayed warm, had full stomachs and got our first victory under our belts. Time to celebrate. No better way then to celebrate a victory but to drink right!!! Not alcohol, RED BULLS! We raided a Red Bull marketing truck and made out with over 50 dollars worth of Red Bulls. We then proceeded to drink about 30 dollars worth of Red Bull. Now we are hyper and ready to play another game. Winning the one game by forfeit caused us to make the playoffs so we were scheduled to play another team that had not physically won a game, and the winner would be the last seed in the playoffs. We are pumped up now... We get to the field and low and behold, the other team decided that frostbite was not worth beating us and they decided to drive home, giving us our second straight victory. We are on a roll now and have pulled our record to 2-2. I am now high on caffeine and feeling more like a 1 Million Dollar Man. We now get to play the top seeded team in the whole tournament. We gave them our best shot. In the previous 14 possessions our opponents had, we had allowed 14 touchdowns. If your not great at math that is 100% of the time. This game we kept them from scoring on 6 of their 8 possessions. If your good at math you'll have to figure out the percentage on your own. I was diving after players sliding on the freezing ground, running over the opponents, bouncing off defenders, knocking passes down, tearing flags off one after another, scored a touchdown and had a sack! Yes, I am finally the 6 Million Dollar Man. The other team did however did keep us from scoring on 7 or 8 possessions. If you are a math major then you know before most that they scored one more time then we did, leaving us eliminated from the tournament. It was a close game and it proved to us we had what it takes, once juiced up on Sonic burgers and Red Bull, to compete. We still did sprint back to the car right after the loss to defrost and reflect on the whole exsperience. I think the comments that summed up our reflection the best was, "Man, we suck." and "Do your legs hurt as bad as mine?" In total we braved the freezing elements three times, throwing our bodies all around, and slamming them into the ground over and over. Not exactly what I thought we were getting into. The drive home is where I started to feel old and back down to about a 60 Thousand Dollar Man, I kept getting sharp pains in my body and we had to pull over three times to get out of the car and straighten out our legs. We saw the same 90 year old man at each of our three stops doing the same thing. Embarrassing. Our first stop once we got home was a hot tub, in which we soaked in for about three hours. This was a great idea I think. Though I knew mentally my legs hurt, I could not physically feel them because I had them soaked in nearly boiling water for three hours. But knowing I needed a hot tub to soak my bones, made me realize I would never have needed to do this when I was younger, and I now felt like a 6 Thousand Dollar Man again. I made it to sleep that night, had a good night sleep, and when I woke this morning, I turned to get out of bed and my legs did not work, my shoulder did not want to work either, as well as my ribs, neck and elbows. My fingers all were swollen, and my eyes well, my eyes were ok but had a lot of morning eye gook in them. Anyways... It took me 15 minutes to teach myself how to walk again as I tried to make my way to the bathroom. My entire body felt as if I had been strung up by a rope and been used as a pinata. This led me to do what anyone should do that body hurts as much as I do. I went back to sleep and tried my hardest to stay their for the entire day, only moving when I absolutely had to. Typing this blog in fact has been quite painful. In fact I believe that right now I only feel like a 6 Dollar Man. Until next time.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Every Thing is Back to Unnormal
Well, all of us single people made it through that tough stretch called Valentines, and I heard there was an all time low in suicides this year. Just 6 million world wide. That is uplifting. I do hope all couples had a lovely night on the 14th though. I was treated to dinner by my parents at their house, where my mom made heart shaped pancakes that I enjoyed with strawberry syrup, drowning the short stack of lovecakes, as I carved up each one with a steak knife just for effect. It was nice. We all shared a nice heart shaped chocolate cake with ice cream filling too, and I was able to pick up some mail that got delivered there. So it worked out just fine, thanks for wondering. No seriously, I did go out later that night, on what we called a "singles celebration" because "Four Dorks" was being used by some Chess Club lock-in that night. Anyways, four of us traveled downtown to the River Walk to eat at Landry's Seafood, to acknowledge the fact that we may be doing this every year for the rest of our lives. It was strange being out on Valentines night though, looked like a Three-legged-race convention was going on with people being in pairs. The strangest thing was, that every table in the whole restaurant was set up to handle only two people. So the wait for a table of four was twice as long because we had to waist for two adjacent tables to open up so we could push them together. Another strange thing I noticed was that almost every couple there, was having a terrible time. Most of them sat there not saying a word and fiddling around with a napkin or something. It was weird to see. We on the other hand were having a grand old time, mainly because we were only buying dinner for one, and the other reason is because we must have had 25 drinks and had managed to start a food fight with the cooks. But seriously, everyone else in the restaurant seemed to be just going through the motions of a Valentines date, all of them seeming to be impatiently waiting for dinner to be over so they could get home. Ahhhhh... maybe that is it! they were waiting on getting home to... and I was just starting to feel better about not going on a date on V-day. Anyways, everything is back to unnormal now. I am still writing blogs past reasonable hours, I still can still come up with a new way to great people that come into my work even though I have already come up with roughly 5,000 ways, I am still on page 79 of the book I started last year and I still have not made the "25 Most Eligible Batcholers in San Antonio" list that the Express News puts out every February. I am however an Honorary Mention in this years San Antonio X-box Awards in the category of Most Improved at Halo, thanks for wondering. Speaking of unnormal, I know a large portion(all 6) of my readers live in San Antonio, so I would think that having a mid-February day get into the mid 80's is completely unnormal. So is talking about the weather in a blog. Until next time.
p.s. - Whoever Ted is, this is not some Brokeback Blog so please stop being creepy. If your a girl posing as a guy, call me.
p.s. - Whoever Ted is, this is not some Brokeback Blog so please stop being creepy. If your a girl posing as a guy, call me.
Monday, February 13, 2006
In Honor of the Week
In being a man of my word, I said I would give my blog something to feel better about herself. I dressed her in blue for so long that I figured she would want to be in pink for a week at lest. It is the little things that can make a relationship last. So here's to another year. It was today last year that I started this relationship. Heres to many more, or at least a real one. Until next time.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Someone Has to be Out There
Do you all have your plans for this Valentines Day? Do you have your dinner reservations planned, your chocolates bought, your flowers ordered and your cards signed with a heart? I don't. I don't need to. I haven't needed to for sometime. If I knew how to insert lauphter and hissing now I would do it now, because I am sure you six think it is real funny. I think it is sad, but that is for when I am on Dr. Phill. Tonight, I wanted to let you all in on something I have been keeping to myself. I have secretly been involved with a woman. No need for lauphter here, this is serious. The thing is I am not sure she knows it in fact it is not even a relationship, but that is not the point. She has had an amazing effect on me for some time now. It started months back with harmless curiosity, and has blossomed into well... nothing more then that, but she is still special to me. She is a lovely companion, but I am not sure if it will ever work out. There are too many complications that make the whole complicated idea, complicated. She has however meant a lot to me over the past year. She has control of over my thoughts most nights. She is always there for me even though I seldom go to her with my problems, I tend to just joke around but I know she'll be there too if I need to get problems out. A lot of people I know think she is a joy to be around, and I think that is great. That makes me proud of her. She is a hard worker, so it is good to know that others appreciate her as much as I do. But I just feel I have a deeper connection with her then most because of the many times we have been alone together. It is in these times that I have grown to understand her more fully, even though there is so much more to learn. I look forward to spending more time with her so I learn more about her and better understand what makes her the way she is. I already know she has certain buttons that I can push that will cause her to act in different ways, but it is important to learn all the buttons so that I can figure out the best ones that make us both happy. So, what I am getting at is, it is a weird time of year with Valentines Day coming up. I am not sure what to do for her, or if I should do anything at all, because I am not sure she would notice or even care. I struggle this time of year anyways, with being the hermit that I am, but the thought of getting a special gift for someone special is even more hermitful, if that is even a word. I guess I could ask her what she wants. I try talking to her but I don't think she ever really understands a word I say. I mainly just type to her and then she does her magic. So, I do want to do something for her for this V-day, I think I might give her something to help her feel better about herself. I get a vibe that she wants to change a few things and maybe I can help her with that. I guess it I am just making a bigger deal out of this then it is. I mean it is not a crush or anything, it is more of one sided relationship. I actually do all the manual work but she seems to keep everything organized. I do most of the thinking and she corrects me a time or 15. I do all that thinking and she does non of it. I do all the typing and she mainly shows me what I am doing. But we do spend about 3 hours a night together roughly 2-3 times a week. I lose sleep over her, I usually am tired the next day, in fact I am with her right now. I bet you are wondering who I am talking about. I know my parents are probably on the edge of there seats. But sit back, I am talking of course about my blog. I hope all of you have a great weekend and a great V-Day, maybe you can send me some leftovers from your nice meal. Until Next time.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Just A Quote
"You can be all you want in a dream!"
I heard this quote at the end of a movie I watched tonight. The movie was not that great on the whole, but it did get me thinking about certain things. One of the last lines in the movie, was part of a song, and that was this. "You can be all you want in a dream." Being a professional day dreamer, it just seemed to be a cool phrase to me.
Anyways, it is Super Sunday and the Superbowl was a good one, and I realised that of the 6 or so readers I have I could send one line out to each person. And so that is what I am going to do. Another quick note. This is the 100th post I have made. If you want to send cards and flowers save your money and just send that to me.
Leigh - I hope the move to the new house went great and that you found your alarm clock in the move.
Joel - I hope your doctor visit went well, and that your shoulder injury is not life threatening.
Ashley - I hope school goes great and the test your forgot about turns out to be an open book test. That would be beautiful.
Kristen - I hope you had fun in College Station and you didn't notice any signs of the wild party thrown at your apartment.
People at Joel's Office - I hope work is finding you well and was just going to let you know that I also know that Joel does nothing at work except surf the internet.
Everyone Else - I hope each of you have a day full of..... wait there is no one else.
Until next time.
I heard this quote at the end of a movie I watched tonight. The movie was not that great on the whole, but it did get me thinking about certain things. One of the last lines in the movie, was part of a song, and that was this. "You can be all you want in a dream." Being a professional day dreamer, it just seemed to be a cool phrase to me.
Anyways, it is Super Sunday and the Superbowl was a good one, and I realised that of the 6 or so readers I have I could send one line out to each person. And so that is what I am going to do. Another quick note. This is the 100th post I have made. If you want to send cards and flowers save your money and just send that to me.
Leigh - I hope the move to the new house went great and that you found your alarm clock in the move.
Joel - I hope your doctor visit went well, and that your shoulder injury is not life threatening.
Ashley - I hope school goes great and the test your forgot about turns out to be an open book test. That would be beautiful.
Kristen - I hope you had fun in College Station and you didn't notice any signs of the wild party thrown at your apartment.
People at Joel's Office - I hope work is finding you well and was just going to let you know that I also know that Joel does nothing at work except surf the internet.
Everyone Else - I hope each of you have a day full of..... wait there is no one else.
Until next time.
Friday, February 03, 2006
The "A" Game was Not with Me
Well I had a blog started tonight. I put some serious time into it and well after reading it , it was not an "A" for effort outing. It was not even a "B" effort. It was definitely a "C+" because I can not produce anything lower unless I fill it with boastfulness. I was going to discuss the differences between watching movies or watching TV shows, and dive into mystery of which one is better. As I was blogging though, I was trying to watch The English Patient, causing me to have huge lapses in thought. It is not a good idea I now know to watch a long sad depressing love story while trying to be creative. So I will try to turn my unfinished blog into a worthy blog at another time. Until next time.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
Matador's and Other Unnoticed Useful Things
What would be better then sitting on the edge of your fifth row seat, unblinking, and hearing the sound of thousands of others chanting jibberish in unison with you, as a man in tights with a red cape spears a bull in its jugular and blood gushes from its throat until it falls into a dead heap of twitching muscle and fur? Honestly I can think of many things better. But it does remind me of a movie I watched tonight. The Matador. It was about an assassin that looses his mind a bit. It was self assuring to know that even a character in a movie, if cleverly written and brilliantly acted, could be more jumbled up then I. Anyways, the movie was cleverly written and brilliantly acted, by both Pierce Bronson and Greg Kinner. If I had the authority to give thumbs up I would, but that is taken. Stars and Jalapinos are taken too. So is One-thru-ten System. So, I will just give it my own made up rating score of $^# This stands for IT WAS WELL WORTH THE MONEY($)AND IT STANDS ABOVE(^)A NUMBER(#)OF OTHER MOVIES I HAVE SEEN. I'll go into more depth about my rating system in another blog. Because that is something pointless and unnecessary, so it should be easy for me to write a 500 word blog on it. I can go on for hours about stuff like that, it is the serious stuff I have problems with. So with that in mind, I would like to share with you a few things that I used to never notice, but I have since realized that they are quite useful in life.
Shopping for cereal is a treat I save for days when I am really tired, down and hungry. And last Wensday I was all of the above. So I bought three kinds of cereal and a gallon of milk, and some Big Red Fire Hot gum if you must know. Anyways, I got to my car holding three plastic bags, opened up my car door and reached into the back seat to place the bags down when I noticed a small hook behind my seat and about eleven inches off the ground. After staring at it for close to 45 seconds, I decided that it was there to put the handles of the plastic bags I has holding on, and so I did. And you know what? Ever turn I took it too on the way home, I smiled because I knew my milk and cereals were not going to be sliding all over the back seat because of that little hook that I had no idea was there. So for the rest of the week I have been trying to think of other objects of things that have gone unnoticed to my eyes that are quite useful. Low and behold, the next night while eating some good 'ole healthy Taco Bell for dinner in front of the TV, another thing dawned on me. I never use the napkins they give me. Nobody in my house does I believe. I looked at our coffee table and there was a stack of unused napkins from 15 different fast food joints and they were all right there. Brown ones, bright white ones, ones with the company printed on them and some with the company embossed into them. I kid you not, but as I was thinking about how strange it was to have so many random napkins on a coffee table, I spilt my coke all over the floor. That is when I realized why there were so many napkins right there. After I cleaned up the mess, I was on high alert for anything else that was useful with out me really even knowing it. This lasted 45 seconds and then I decided to watch a movie from the cosey confines of my bed. I threw in a dvd, jumped in bed, smiled and then froze. Something was wrong! The remote to control the TV was not where it has been 365 days a year(that being within arms reach). I panicked, I looked high and low and could not find it. I lay there on the bed staring at a blank TV, while I watched the DVD player sitting with the power on. I sat staring for a good 45 seconds when I realized something I had not noticed ever in my life. The TV had buttons on it. And upon closer inspection they had buttons that controlled the POWER, the VOLUME and the CHANNELS. Wow, another unnoticed object has just effected my life. So my goal for the remainder of the weekend was to searched the house, my car, and pretty much everywhere for things that I never noticed before. I found cleaning supplies under a cabinet that I never knew where there, and I promptly shut that cabinet. Then I opened another cabinet that had mouthwash, deodorant, toothpaste in it. That is when I realized that I should have had all these thoughts years ago. So I tried to stop thinking about the things in life that are not always noticed but are very useful. I stopped thinking about it just long enouph to drive over to my parents for dinner(6 minutes and 45 seconds) on Saturday night, and the whole family was over. My brother was there with his wife and kids, my sister was there with her husband and kids and of course my parents where there with there kids. We all had a great time of fellowship, lauphter and had wrestling wars. It got me thinking later that night that the most useful thing in life is family and most of the time we don't even know it. They provide all the love and support we need to get through life. Well.. I didn't see the blog turning in this direction earlier but since it is already turned, another thing I have noticed, is that small things that seem like they go unnoticed, like a smile, a pat on the back, or a simple word of encouragement can brighten someone's day even though it might not be noticed by the encourager. Think about these for 45 seconds. Ok, now there was one more thing I just realized. One of the major thing that I have not noticed lately is sleep, but I think I am going to see if it is useful right now. So in keeping with the more serious topics, my next blog will be on the Seven Secrets of Dating. It will be all questions. Until next time.
Shopping for cereal is a treat I save for days when I am really tired, down and hungry. And last Wensday I was all of the above. So I bought three kinds of cereal and a gallon of milk, and some Big Red Fire Hot gum if you must know. Anyways, I got to my car holding three plastic bags, opened up my car door and reached into the back seat to place the bags down when I noticed a small hook behind my seat and about eleven inches off the ground. After staring at it for close to 45 seconds, I decided that it was there to put the handles of the plastic bags I has holding on, and so I did. And you know what? Ever turn I took it too on the way home, I smiled because I knew my milk and cereals were not going to be sliding all over the back seat because of that little hook that I had no idea was there. So for the rest of the week I have been trying to think of other objects of things that have gone unnoticed to my eyes that are quite useful. Low and behold, the next night while eating some good 'ole healthy Taco Bell for dinner in front of the TV, another thing dawned on me. I never use the napkins they give me. Nobody in my house does I believe. I looked at our coffee table and there was a stack of unused napkins from 15 different fast food joints and they were all right there. Brown ones, bright white ones, ones with the company printed on them and some with the company embossed into them. I kid you not, but as I was thinking about how strange it was to have so many random napkins on a coffee table, I spilt my coke all over the floor. That is when I realized why there were so many napkins right there. After I cleaned up the mess, I was on high alert for anything else that was useful with out me really even knowing it. This lasted 45 seconds and then I decided to watch a movie from the cosey confines of my bed. I threw in a dvd, jumped in bed, smiled and then froze. Something was wrong! The remote to control the TV was not where it has been 365 days a year(that being within arms reach). I panicked, I looked high and low and could not find it. I lay there on the bed staring at a blank TV, while I watched the DVD player sitting with the power on. I sat staring for a good 45 seconds when I realized something I had not noticed ever in my life. The TV had buttons on it. And upon closer inspection they had buttons that controlled the POWER, the VOLUME and the CHANNELS. Wow, another unnoticed object has just effected my life. So my goal for the remainder of the weekend was to searched the house, my car, and pretty much everywhere for things that I never noticed before. I found cleaning supplies under a cabinet that I never knew where there, and I promptly shut that cabinet. Then I opened another cabinet that had mouthwash, deodorant, toothpaste in it. That is when I realized that I should have had all these thoughts years ago. So I tried to stop thinking about the things in life that are not always noticed but are very useful. I stopped thinking about it just long enouph to drive over to my parents for dinner(6 minutes and 45 seconds) on Saturday night, and the whole family was over. My brother was there with his wife and kids, my sister was there with her husband and kids and of course my parents where there with there kids. We all had a great time of fellowship, lauphter and had wrestling wars. It got me thinking later that night that the most useful thing in life is family and most of the time we don't even know it. They provide all the love and support we need to get through life. Well.. I didn't see the blog turning in this direction earlier but since it is already turned, another thing I have noticed, is that small things that seem like they go unnoticed, like a smile, a pat on the back, or a simple word of encouragement can brighten someone's day even though it might not be noticed by the encourager. Think about these for 45 seconds. Ok, now there was one more thing I just realized. One of the major thing that I have not noticed lately is sleep, but I think I am going to see if it is useful right now. So in keeping with the more serious topics, my next blog will be on the Seven Secrets of Dating. It will be all questions. Until next time.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
1mp0rtant Num6ers in My 1ife.
Sitting here thinking about what ridiculous thing I was going to share with the 4 of you that will read this on Wed the 25th of 2006, I realized that numbers play an important part in each of our lives. I began to think about numbers that have been showing up on TV and the movies over the past few years. Hollywood has given us 7, The 6th Sense, 21 Grahams, 28 Days Later, 3 Amigos and Shreck 2. Television as made famous 24, 2 and 1/2 Men, and the Lost numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, & 42. Thinking about this led me to begin thinking about numbers in my own life. I spent well over 5 minutes and I came up with in numeric order from largest to smallest, numbers that have been of importance to my life over the past near 28 years. Lets start with a really big number.
2,456,111 - I am not the first person who was born in San Antonio Texas, this many people were born before I was. I was however born with the 17th largest head.
980-2498 - Phone number of my first girl friend. Hahaha Of course I don't remember that :(
1,000,000 - How many black men in suits happened to visit the White House at the same time I happened to be visiting for the first time.
823,555 - What I thought my dad made a year as a boy, after he brought home a Snoopy Snow Cone Maker.
350,000 - Customers I have greeted with, "Hi, How are you today?" and finished with "Have a good day!" as of Jan 20th, 2006. As of today it is 350,341.
123,456 - Always one of my favorite numbers to write.
120,678 - People I know in my dreams.
92,525 - People that witnessed live the Texas Longhorns win the National Championship in Pasadena California in the Rose Bowl. I was number 92,526!
55,000 - Number of miles I have driven on Spring break trips. Over 30 states conquered, over 120 shot glassed collected, and at least 4 nights forgotten. I think I can't remember.
23,417 - Total times I yelled at told to come in for dinner from the time I was 6 until I was 14. Divided out that comes to roughly an average of eight times a night.
10,104 - Total days I have been alive birth.
7,566 - Nights in my life that I have gotten what doctors say is inadequate sleep.
2,449 - Movies I have watched, a combination of movies I have seen at the theater (1,101), movies I have seen on DVD(789), movies I have seen on TV(540), movies I have seen at school(16), and movies I have complete dreamed up during daydreams(3).
1,000 - What I feel I would be more then happy with making and hour.
786 - Number of people who attened my University(of Letourneau). 784 as Engineering Majors and 2 as Sports Management Majors. I was 1 of the 2.
687 - Grey hairs I had before I graduated from high school. My friend Leigh picked 469 of them out. Leaving me with 212 while walking the isle. For the record I now only have 687 dark hairs on my head.
230 - DVD's I own. Yes if you multiply it out I could have a down payment for a house if I had not bought all these.
179 - Points I scored in high school in 4 seasons of playing 22 games a season. I'd prefer if you would not do the math to see what that comes to a game.
99 - Bottles of beer on the wall. We used to call the fridge "the wall."
97 - Blog entries I have made.
76 - Times I have watched Dumb and Dumber. (Insert your own joke here)
69 - Ummmm... Oh yeah, Number of different cereals I have tried.
44 - The number I wore proudly while on the bench during my basketball career.
30 - Books I have read from cover to cover. 679 if you count just starting a book.
24 - Hours I took my last semester of college. Strangely enough I had my highest GPA this semester. Ok enough bragging.
21 - The age at which I had my first alcoholic beverage. Ok enough lying.
14 - Number of girls that said no to me at our high school prom. Of course I only asked one and the 14 others I never really asked.
8 - Number of nephews and nieces I have. All of which are joys of my life. But also are the best source of birth control.
5 - Records I have set in my life. Non of which I can prove.
3 - Times I have cried that I will admit.
2 - My favorite number. For a reason I will not admit.
1 - Times I have been speechless. HAHAH I mean just in writing.
Until next time.
2,456,111 - I am not the first person who was born in San Antonio Texas, this many people were born before I was. I was however born with the 17th largest head.
980-2498 - Phone number of my first girl friend. Hahaha Of course I don't remember that :(
1,000,000 - How many black men in suits happened to visit the White House at the same time I happened to be visiting for the first time.
823,555 - What I thought my dad made a year as a boy, after he brought home a Snoopy Snow Cone Maker.
350,000 - Customers I have greeted with, "Hi, How are you today?" and finished with "Have a good day!" as of Jan 20th, 2006. As of today it is 350,341.
123,456 - Always one of my favorite numbers to write.
120,678 - People I know in my dreams.
92,525 - People that witnessed live the Texas Longhorns win the National Championship in Pasadena California in the Rose Bowl. I was number 92,526!
55,000 - Number of miles I have driven on Spring break trips. Over 30 states conquered, over 120 shot glassed collected, and at least 4 nights forgotten. I think I can't remember.
23,417 - Total times I yelled at told to come in for dinner from the time I was 6 until I was 14. Divided out that comes to roughly an average of eight times a night.
10,104 - Total days I have been alive birth.
7,566 - Nights in my life that I have gotten what doctors say is inadequate sleep.
2,449 - Movies I have watched, a combination of movies I have seen at the theater (1,101), movies I have seen on DVD(789), movies I have seen on TV(540), movies I have seen at school(16), and movies I have complete dreamed up during daydreams(3).
1,000 - What I feel I would be more then happy with making and hour.
786 - Number of people who attened my University(of Letourneau). 784 as Engineering Majors and 2 as Sports Management Majors. I was 1 of the 2.
687 - Grey hairs I had before I graduated from high school. My friend Leigh picked 469 of them out. Leaving me with 212 while walking the isle. For the record I now only have 687 dark hairs on my head.
230 - DVD's I own. Yes if you multiply it out I could have a down payment for a house if I had not bought all these.
179 - Points I scored in high school in 4 seasons of playing 22 games a season. I'd prefer if you would not do the math to see what that comes to a game.
99 - Bottles of beer on the wall. We used to call the fridge "the wall."
97 - Blog entries I have made.
76 - Times I have watched Dumb and Dumber. (Insert your own joke here)
69 - Ummmm... Oh yeah, Number of different cereals I have tried.
44 - The number I wore proudly while on the bench during my basketball career.
30 - Books I have read from cover to cover. 679 if you count just starting a book.
24 - Hours I took my last semester of college. Strangely enough I had my highest GPA this semester. Ok enough bragging.
21 - The age at which I had my first alcoholic beverage. Ok enough lying.
14 - Number of girls that said no to me at our high school prom. Of course I only asked one and the 14 others I never really asked.
8 - Number of nephews and nieces I have. All of which are joys of my life. But also are the best source of birth control.
5 - Records I have set in my life. Non of which I can prove.
3 - Times I have cried that I will admit.
2 - My favorite number. For a reason I will not admit.
1 - Times I have been speechless. HAHAH I mean just in writing.
Until next time.
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