Please Pray for Free Throws

Well, I not only will I not make it to my 70th birthday, but now my 60th birthday is in jeopardy after the Spurs, led by their supreme power forward Tim Duncan, clanked their way to a game seven in the NBA finals. Me and 200,000 other silver and black blooded fans packed into every bar, restaurant and closet in downtown to view what was sure to be the Spurs finest moment. A third Championship in 7 years. I viewed the game at the famous Menger Hotel in the lobby bar. Seventy-five of us shared a hand held television to watch in agony as the Spurs decided that they do not like their fans and lost in a most disturbing way. They turned the ball over and missed free throws. Lets dissect each of these to further explain. A turnover is when the Spurs have the ball and are trying to score baskets and in stead of easily tossing the ball into the orange rim, they tap one of the Detroit players on the arm, getting there attention, and then place the ball in their hands, and say, "here you go, you take it, we don't like our fans." Well to be honest it might not be in English considering each the Spurs players have mailing addresses in different countries. A turnover is the second worst thing you can do in a game. It is unfortunately the Spurs second best ability. Their first and greatest crappy accomplishment is missing free throws. Being born with a brain and 10 toes immediately qualifies each of us to know without being taught what the definition of FREE is. "Getting something that cost you nothing, and makes you happy nine times out of ten." The Spurs get FREE throws regularly, but missed the memo I guess that said you are supposed to make them, because they are FREE. When a restaurant has FREE food night, the place is packed with people taking advantage of FREE food. Tim Duncan missing these FREE throws has caused me to do something drastic, I BLAME HIM, and him alone if the Spurs do not take the championship belt away from Rasheed Wallace(the guy with the weird gum spot on the back of his head.) It has caused me to take other drastic steps as well. I have been using some prayers to try and help Duncan's FREE throw problem. I only have a limited amount of prayers I offer a day so I had to cut out a few people I pray for. Mainly just the terminally ill. I figure those are high priority prayers, and if I use some of those for Timmy then maybe he will make some FREE throws. Well, it is getting late and I have about 45 minutes of proof reading to go so I will end this now. Every one stop what you are doing, fold your hands together, close your eyes and repeat after me, "Dear Lord," your turn
"please drop a bag of a million dollars in Kevin's lap. Thank you!" your turn Until next time.