My United States of Change.

You all know me and know that I can carry on for a lengthy time about almost nothing at all and somehow I can make something interesting and logical seem boring and confusing. Well I don't plan on stopping that trend, because I think my insomnia brain is at it again. It has been in high gear all weekend thinking on a great many things, and I am going to try and pull out of it a thought that crossed it not too long ago. It has been rumored that I am 43 years old from some of the tabloid pictures that have been surfacing, but it is really a reality that I am a healthy 28 year old. And while that may seem old to you third graders that stumble upon this in computer class, it is quite young to you 80 year olds that will never read this because computers have not been budgeted into the local nursing homes yet. Anyways, I have however allowed my busy brain a few thoughts about the fact that being 28 means one thing. That you most likely graduated from high school 10 years ago. It also means that your insurance goes down, as long as you have not has three really bad wrecks and four speeding tickets, and two unpaid parking violations, but that is irrelevant. Ten years removed from High School also translates into a ten year reunion. And after all these unnecessary words that I like to describe as filler, I get to my point, or my thought.

I got a message from an old friend, that I have not seen since I was still in high school, the other day. In that note was a simple request, that on the surface seemed like a easy request, but once I started responding it was a very thought prodding, mind bending, sleep zapping request. "Fill me in on what you have been up to over the past ten years!?" See, seems simple enouph. But not to someone who can think a mountain from a mole hill. But that is what I did. I thought on it. To be honest I thought on it like five seconds before I started writing my response. "I have been in a constant state of sameness," I found my fingers typing. That is when I had to stop and really focus my attention away from other thoughts. What did I just type? "state of sameness..." Obviously my fingers and my brain came up with that with on their own. But it did strangely enouph cause me to come to the conclusion that they were right. I have been in a "state of sameness" over much of this past ten years.

While I am not taking a huge crack at myself, because I am probably the best at not changing that is out there, I do realize that it might be time to change. It is either change or I will be 38, still rent a house from a friend, still eat Sugar Pops cereal every morning, still wear Doc Martins to meet girls, still part my hair down the middle in what looks like butt cheeks on my head... oh wait I did actually change that, although reluctantly at first. Now that I see old pictures of it, I realize that not only did I do myself a huge favor, I did North America an huge favor as well. My sameness has carried over to my wardrobe as well, which has been publicly ridiculed on many occasions. I have Izod shirts that date way back to when they were not cool to wear and you could get them for six bucks at Sears with a coupon. I still only have a pair of trendy jeans, and as it was pointed out to me earlier I have not one, but "a few" trendy shirts. The thing is, it can be proved with help of pictures that some of my trendy shirts I have worn, have shown up in pictures that date 1998 as well as 2006. Scary I know. I still have the same bad sleeping patterns. Well, a pattern suggests that it is consistent, and I guess that is true, because I pretty much do not ever feel I am ready to go to bed each night. The unwritten checklist of being ready to sleep would have all checks(tired/check, late at night/check, brushed teeth/check, checked mypace/check), but I still find myself laying there going over every possible senario life could take in my head, or getting up and getting on the computer and spitting out words at an alarmingly misspelled rate. Scary I know. Movies and music have also been in a pretty still state, I have only recently figured out that there is newer music on the market then Bon Jovi, Areosmith, and Enya. I think I will always love movies and if I am stuck in sameness in regards to my movie watching I feel I will be ok with that, maybe I will watch more with my eyes closed as to help compensate for my sleep issues:) Furthermore, I have done the same thing at work(I have said "Have a good day" with a smile over a million times I am pretty sure), I have dated the same non-existent girl(yes you read that right) and I have hung out with the same buddies every weekend(we tend to find some form of trouble to get in) for the past 10 years. Amazing huh? Well, while I can't say I regret any time in the past ten years, because I think that is pointless and it will get you no where except a size 8 straight jacket, shipped to 34 Raddison Road and placed in room 233 for three months and 12 days, I can say that it has been instresting to look back in my thoughts and see how not much has changed. Anyways, the future is called the future for just that reason because it is not the past. That is a sentence only someone that is so tired he can't sleep, can come up with. So, as of tonight, I am waging war with the state of sameness that has been ruling my body for the past ten years. My United States of Sameness is going down and I am hoping to replace it with something much more exciting and fulfilling. If My United States of Lotto Millionaire does not pan out then I believe I will settle for My United Sates of Change. It's a ten year term so well see how it goes.
Until next time.