Each year we find ourselves staring at a new year with feelings of dumbfoundment, joy and sadness. Well I do anyway, because I am dumbfounded by the thought that a whole year has passed and my goals for that year are 89%* incomplete, yet I am filled with joy because, at the strike of midnight on December 31, it matters no more how many goals I left undone, because of the simple fact that I can just set more easier ones, which in turn makes me feel a bit sad, due to the realization that I was not looking at the past years goals but at five years ago goals, and they were the same as this past year, with one jumping out at me the most, that being to grow up!** I just figure everyone is the same as me, so since I have already laid out some simple tips for creating some goals or resolutions, I figured I would do some research and figure out the best way to get that resolution incompletion percentage down to nothing! A quick recap of the tips for setting goals might come in handy so here they are in very particular order. 1. Keep it Guarded-as we know this keeps first dates from being last dates 2. Keep it Organized-The Container Store*** can not help you with this one, just remember the categories 3. Keep it Available-You don't leave home without your Visa card do you, just keep it near 4. Keep it Logical-no one can be cooler then "The Fonz," so cross that one off the list now. 5. Keep it Simple-remember to make so simple they are almost impossible to not reach!
Since I am not one to make anything up, I have to admit to you that in my research**** I have not come up with adequate method for reaching set goals, so I will in turn make some up, that I am positive will be better then anything on the market. I have whittled down so many ideas into 10 easy tips to help insure that you accomplish more goals then you thought possible. I will start at the bottom of my list.
10. PRETEND - It is not childish to sit and stare out the window for hours thinking on another life, another dream, another goal. I do it all the time. It is called pretending to do something you can't or have not yet done. I think it is important to pretend that you can do your toughest goal. That way when it comes time to meet that goal you will have replayed it in your head so many times it should be easy. I say "should" here because, I have used this method to get a date and it just caused sweaty palms and an awkward "Who are you, creep?" But still I feel this is a sound approach.
9. UNDERSTAND - Sometimes it can be overwhelming to look at your list of goals in late October and see that you have a long way to go to have a respectable goal meeting year. This is when you need to take a deep breath and realize or understand that you are not going to get 100% through the list. It is however, time to re-apply your self and strive to get as many of these done as possible. This is not the advice I have followed in the past. I usually freak out that so much is not done on my list that I quit doing the goals all together and I just stay single.
8. EVOLUTION - Though it has been disproved by God*****, 99% of Republicans and 23% of Democrats, the theory of evolution leaves us with an important goal reaching philosophy. And that is simply that if a goal is just out of reach, yet you are trying really hard, just evolve your goal into something more obtainable. This is made easier if, when you set your goals, use a pencil. This will increase your completion percentage and will also be added to my goal setting tips revised edition. It is ok I believe to change more then once too, as long as you are still working with the goal in mind. I have in the past changed mine from something like, "find Mrs. Right" to "go on date" to "talk to girl" to "chat in chat room with a girl."
7. VICTORY PARTY - Everyone I know loves a good party. So why not throw one for the best reason of all, accomplishing a goal! No matter how small the goal, it is important to celebrate the completion of it. Professional Sports teams throw huge parties when they reach their goal of winning a championship. They have help to accomplish their goals though, coaches, teammates, fans and most importantly the team that lost. So why should you and me not have a grand bash each time we conquer one of our goals. This will help achieve other goals as well because the anticipation of each party. I am also thinking that with all these parties the "evolution" step will not be needed so much in the female category of my goals.
6. INCH-BY-INCH - From the look of every gym in the world****** this week, most people, myself included, believe that goals are a sprint. Quite the opposite is true. It is a marathon and should be treated like such. I have not run a marathon, but I am pretty sure that if I did, I would take it one inch at a time. It is not about the speed in which you get to your goal, but simply making sure you have enough energy to finish the race. So do not fall into the trap that I do and try to do too much right out of the gate. Inch your way along, you will get there. Just think to your self that there is 365 inches in this year, and each day you will be that much closer to reaching a goal. The Inch-by-Inch approach is also how I approach girls I like, but I just end up getting laughed at as I slowly shuffle up with sweaty palms.
5. GENEROSITY - It should be mandatory to use pencils to write resolutions now because if in your journey to complete a goal you surpass your goal, what are you left with?! a resolution that has been not just conquered, but shattered. This is not always good. I do not think it has to be bad though. Would it not be better to give that extra part of the goal to someone that did not quite make it to theirs? Let me explain. This works best with goals such as losing weight, or talking to girls. Let’s say I hit my goal of losing 10 pounds but for some Heaven sent reason I lose 25 pounds. I should be able to give those extra pounds past my goal to someone that has not quite met their goal. Maybe I could trade my extra weight loss to someone that talked to more girls then they set their goal for and we would both be winners. Generosity is key.
4. TEAMWORK - This goes right in hand with the last tip, but it stands on its own because to be honest, it was the only tip on my list that was in every list I read during my research for this blog. Teamwork is important. This means having a group that holds you accountable for your goals and helps you each day to reach your goals, and in turn you help them reach theirs. This is the easiest way to reach some goals. If you are week in some areas of your resolutions ask a buddy or two to help you out and encourage you. Another upside to having a team of friends help you is you have more victory parties to go to, which in turn means your friends might be able to introduce you to a cool girl. GOOOOOOO Team!
3. NIX - This may be the shortest tip and it is not the best of the ten tips, but none the less it is a tip worth saying and believing in. Say on December 28th your sitting in bed unhappy with the year your having and you want to do something about it, so you start writing goals for your self to achieve the following year so that you will not feel like this next Dec. I keep saying "you" here like I am talking about you but this is really me. I start the year off with a list of goals that would need an 8 font to fit them all on three sheets of paper. So, here it is January and I realize that is ridiculous. I believe strongly that if I am ever going to get this completion percentage up then Nixing out some of the fluff goals is imperative. And I believe many of you could be in the same boat. So I have Nixed out things like "steal Donald Trump's money" and "become Hugh Hefner."******* What can you Nix out?
2. OPPERTUNITY - "Behind every door is something great" Someone wise said something like that. And it is so true. Around every corner there is always the possibility that a goal could land on your lap. It should be a goal; in fact I am going to write it in now on my list, that we should make the most of each opportunity we have to further along our quest for resolution completion. If an opportunity is out there somewhere, go for it! This is not to be a discredit to the INCH BY INCH tip, but a complement to it. Strive all year, day-by-day, but if something is in reach that normally is not, make the most of it and jump up an extra inch. Looking back at the end of the year and seeing missed opportunities is the worst feeling. Ok, saying this I have to admit, I have not been like a lion and pounced on opportunities in my past goals. If I had I would have a great job and less sweaty palms! Lets all be Lions this year!
1. DETERMINATION - There is no since in starting to obtain your resolutions if you are not bound and determined to do so. Teamwork will not help, Understanding, Pretending, Evolution will all be useless. Nixing will work here but it will be cheating in this case. Goals are set because we want something to strive for during the year. We want to accomplish something. The most important part of all of this comes from inside and it has a pretty steady beat. ******** That steady beat should drive us, it should motivate us, and it should pick us up when we are down. That beat is our determination to get our goals done. This is done by the most important tip I could come up with; strangely enough the only one that I didn't make up, it is simply.....
D - determination
O - opportunity
N - nix
T - teamwork
G - generosity
I - inch-by-inch
V - victory party
E - evolution
U - understand
P – pretend
Until next time.
*Margin of error +/-10%
**Officially the longest sentence used in modern day English blogging. Yes there are ten commas.
***No permission was seeked to use this company name in a bad blog.
****Five minutes worth.
*****My Savior.
******I have not personally seen in each one, just an assumption.
*******Two of my worst examples to date. Sorry.
********Unless you have an irregular heartbeat, of course.
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