As far as my reading has taken me(about ten feet), I have always come up with better characters and main objects in every story I have read. It tends to keep me interested in the story longer. So, why not have a story in which the reader makes up for themselves the main parts of the story.
Once upon a time there lived a magical __________ that lived in the forrest and would pick food from the orchard to feast upon each day. This was magical fruit and the most magical fruit of all was the ________ which when she/he/it(sheit) would eat this fruit sheit would radiate everything that is right in the world. Like happiness, love, ____________ and ____________. Sheit always smelled like roses, would always wear a smile, always sing happy songs, and would skip around instead of walk. Sheit had a pet ___________ that was the most loyal ________________ in the universe. Nothing could made sheit upset except the mean, bad, smelly, ________, vile, no-good monster that always tried to eat sheit named _______________. This evil creature had one job, which was to make sheit ___________________ as often as possible. The mean villain would try every day to stir sheit up in a vat of hot boiling tar, but every day sheit used the magical fruit to ward the evil doer off. All sheit had to do to keep the monster named ___________, at arms length and say _____________________________________________, and the vile creature would run off with teary eyes.
One time not so long ago, sheit got ill and was unable to pick the magical fruit. The mean mean goblin took advantage of sheit in this weakend state, and was able to take sheit to the edge of the black forest where sheit could not reach the magical fruit.
Sheit was in the dumps for sure, missing the lovely fruits and most loyal pet she had ever had. That is when sheit let out a trumpet blast so high pitch that only a pet who's a true friend could hear. Sheit had summoned ____________________. Armed with a basket of magical fruit the _______________ ran and run to the edge of the dark forest where the evil monster kept a firm grip on sheit. Not to be denied the loyal pet summond all the powers of the fruit and leapt 40 feet into the air right into the dungeon, tossing the most magical fruit to sheit.
Seizing the fruit in a quick move thought only to be bestowed upon kings, sheit made a move for the fruit and in one fell swoop __________________________________________________________ until the monster was begging for mercy.
Being merciful sheit decided to befriend the evil monster and share the powerful fruit with the ruthless monster. Once the monster bit into it ______________________________________ and then they _______________________ happily ever after. The end.
Ok, I am going to be honest for the first time in seven days. I should have never started this blog. Much too deep. I thought it would be an easy story, telling a story with no main character or plots. But I think it ended up being even harder then writing medical journals in the third grade. So print it out and fill in the blanks if you want or just roll your eyes like always and finish with your day. Until next time.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
A Short Blog for You and Yours
With Thanksgiving behind us it is now time to move past the season of thankfulness and kindness and get into the season of giving(who am I kidding for most it is really the season of "I wants" and "I need.") So in that manner I will share with you some of the things I want and some things that I need.
I want trendy outfits that make me dance better. I need a collar that zaps me with high amounts of voltage when ever I try to dance in public.
I want socks that I can wear five times all day at work and not smell. I need to do laundry more often so I do not need socks like this.
I want to travel to twelve countries this next year. I need to pay off credit cards that allowed me to see zero countries last year.
I want a collection of DVD's that rivals that of blockbuster. I need to return some movies I have had from Blockbusters for over 4 months.
I want shoes that drag me to the gym and make me burn off extra calories. I need shoes that kick my ass when I order a five piece extra crispy chicken meal with extra biscuits with two sides and a super sized Big Red.
I want a cereal named after me. I need cereal to live.
I want a car that can not get in any wrecks until it is paid off. I need a mechanic for my 7 month old Scion Tc.
I want an alarm clock that gently rubs my arm and tells me that I am great and that work is going to be great and that it is time to get up. I need an alarm clock with no snooze button.
I want a kitchen that makes me breakfast in the morning and has it waiting for me when I am done getting ready. I need an alarm clock with no snooze button.
I want to be the President of the United States. I need to be realistic.
I want a girlfriend. I need to be realisti... I mean optimistic.
I want wallpaper to cover my room that are maps of different countries and I want to hang cutouts of my favorite cereal boxes all over the wall too, and maybe even put pennants around the tops of my room. I need a girlfriend.
I want a shirt that irons itself and even washes itself. I need a girl... haha just kidding I need a new shirt.
I want a bed that injects me with sleep serum when I am tired and should be in bed. I need stop writing this blog.
Finally I want a wallet that produces it own money and never runs out of cash. I need a wallet that produces its own money and never runs out of cash.
So go ahead and make your self a list of things that you want and you need. That should get you kick started into having a great holiday season. Until next time.
I want trendy outfits that make me dance better. I need a collar that zaps me with high amounts of voltage when ever I try to dance in public.
I want socks that I can wear five times all day at work and not smell. I need to do laundry more often so I do not need socks like this.
I want to travel to twelve countries this next year. I need to pay off credit cards that allowed me to see zero countries last year.
I want a collection of DVD's that rivals that of blockbuster. I need to return some movies I have had from Blockbusters for over 4 months.
I want shoes that drag me to the gym and make me burn off extra calories. I need shoes that kick my ass when I order a five piece extra crispy chicken meal with extra biscuits with two sides and a super sized Big Red.
I want a cereal named after me. I need cereal to live.
I want a car that can not get in any wrecks until it is paid off. I need a mechanic for my 7 month old Scion Tc.
I want an alarm clock that gently rubs my arm and tells me that I am great and that work is going to be great and that it is time to get up. I need an alarm clock with no snooze button.
I want a kitchen that makes me breakfast in the morning and has it waiting for me when I am done getting ready. I need an alarm clock with no snooze button.
I want to be the President of the United States. I need to be realistic.
I want a girlfriend. I need to be realisti... I mean optimistic.
I want wallpaper to cover my room that are maps of different countries and I want to hang cutouts of my favorite cereal boxes all over the wall too, and maybe even put pennants around the tops of my room. I need a girlfriend.
I want a shirt that irons itself and even washes itself. I need a girl... haha just kidding I need a new shirt.
I want a bed that injects me with sleep serum when I am tired and should be in bed. I need stop writing this blog.
Finally I want a wallet that produces it own money and never runs out of cash. I need a wallet that produces its own money and never runs out of cash.
So go ahead and make your self a list of things that you want and you need. That should get you kick started into having a great holiday season. Until next time.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Text Messages and Time Machines
I hope everybody's Thanksgiving extended weekend was as terrific as mine. I hope all the turkeys were fully cooked and the yams were a safe distance away. I hope each of you were able to take a few minutes to quietly reflect on what you are thankful for. I hope you each got to spend time with family or friends and have a joyous time eating tons of food and then napping on the couch during the Cowboy's game. That is what I love about this time of year family, friends and helping after helping of food. I however take away from this thanksgiving a few new life changing gifts as well. For I finally learned the full capability of sending text messages through a cellular phone and I now understand the intricacies of the possibility of time travel. Each of these though different in spelling are similar in the way they have affected me over this past weekend. I will explain.
I do not know of either of you know me well enough to know this but I am a bit behind the curve on trends. I was 22 when I first got a Game Boy, and the X-box was already out. I just recently realized that flannel shirts, no matter how cool the plaid design were, are not cool anymore. Well at 27 I have been making huge strides toward catching up with the trends. I have now purchased a second trendy shirt(a shirt that looks like a guy dressed himself and was not dressed by his mother) I have a pair of trendy shoes(shoes that hurt your feet but go with your belt and wallet) I even have put a pair a trendy jeans(ones that look as if they are used, faded, torn, or stained yet still have a sky high price tag on them) on my Christmas wish list. So the point is I am make baby steps toward being trendy. But I realized I was still missing something, and before you make jokes and say it is a girlfriend to pick out trendy clothes for me so I don't even have to worry about such things, I know that is also true, but there is something else I realized I was missing out on. I can walk down the street, or mall, or even drive down the road and I see people looking at their cell phone but never talking on it. I see this all the time. At first I assumed they were just on speaker phone, but they were not talking to it and I heard no voices. At my house my roommates phones would ring they would pick it up and look at it, hit a few buttons and then set it back down like there was nothing to it, and repeat the process in a few minutes. That is when it hit me(actually it hit me after I asked about sixty questions about how it worked), these are text messages. I have been missing the boat all these years. I have simply not answered the phone if I did not want to talk, now I can just read a sentence and write back a few words and the conversation is done. It might change my life. I just activated texting on my phone and can now chat on my phone. Now the thing is typing on a phone is not as easy as typing on a computer, it is actually about 100 times harder, especially while walking down the street, or in the mall, or driving in rush hour.
As you know, or might not know unless you have been spying on me, but I enjoy movies slightly more then I enjoy Fruity Pebbles. Another little know fact is that I am mentally disturbed, no I'm not, yes I am, no I'm not. But I do know this, well I am fairly certain about the possibilities of time travel. According to the movie Donnie Darko time travel happens all the time, and it is way more believable then how Quantum Leap or Stargate portrays it. I will give you a quick gist of how it happens. It is mainly in your dreams, and then you live out the future in your dreams, and when God allows it you stay in your dream and carry out mystical missions, until one day you wake up and you are in a cartoon. It gets better if you can believe it. You also have the power to summon all the water and fire in the world and do with as you please, as long as it does not disrupt any of the future, because you will really be living in a Tangent Universe. Hold on this is where it gets good. If all goes well in this Tangent Universe then after 28 days of living in it you will be able to start back at the beginning of the 28 days and this time be in the real universe. And then you wake up and you are not sure if you saved the world or it is just a dream. It all has something to do with geometry. But if you watch Donnie Darko you will understand it all. But for me I am going to send out a few texts before I take a few sleeping pills so that I can maybe save the world while I sleep. Look for me. And hope you had a great Thanksgiving. Until next time.
I do not know of either of you know me well enough to know this but I am a bit behind the curve on trends. I was 22 when I first got a Game Boy, and the X-box was already out. I just recently realized that flannel shirts, no matter how cool the plaid design were, are not cool anymore. Well at 27 I have been making huge strides toward catching up with the trends. I have now purchased a second trendy shirt(a shirt that looks like a guy dressed himself and was not dressed by his mother) I have a pair of trendy shoes(shoes that hurt your feet but go with your belt and wallet) I even have put a pair a trendy jeans(ones that look as if they are used, faded, torn, or stained yet still have a sky high price tag on them) on my Christmas wish list. So the point is I am make baby steps toward being trendy. But I realized I was still missing something, and before you make jokes and say it is a girlfriend to pick out trendy clothes for me so I don't even have to worry about such things, I know that is also true, but there is something else I realized I was missing out on. I can walk down the street, or mall, or even drive down the road and I see people looking at their cell phone but never talking on it. I see this all the time. At first I assumed they were just on speaker phone, but they were not talking to it and I heard no voices. At my house my roommates phones would ring they would pick it up and look at it, hit a few buttons and then set it back down like there was nothing to it, and repeat the process in a few minutes. That is when it hit me(actually it hit me after I asked about sixty questions about how it worked), these are text messages. I have been missing the boat all these years. I have simply not answered the phone if I did not want to talk, now I can just read a sentence and write back a few words and the conversation is done. It might change my life. I just activated texting on my phone and can now chat on my phone. Now the thing is typing on a phone is not as easy as typing on a computer, it is actually about 100 times harder, especially while walking down the street, or in the mall, or driving in rush hour.
As you know, or might not know unless you have been spying on me, but I enjoy movies slightly more then I enjoy Fruity Pebbles. Another little know fact is that I am mentally disturbed, no I'm not, yes I am, no I'm not. But I do know this, well I am fairly certain about the possibilities of time travel. According to the movie Donnie Darko time travel happens all the time, and it is way more believable then how Quantum Leap or Stargate portrays it. I will give you a quick gist of how it happens. It is mainly in your dreams, and then you live out the future in your dreams, and when God allows it you stay in your dream and carry out mystical missions, until one day you wake up and you are in a cartoon. It gets better if you can believe it. You also have the power to summon all the water and fire in the world and do with as you please, as long as it does not disrupt any of the future, because you will really be living in a Tangent Universe. Hold on this is where it gets good. If all goes well in this Tangent Universe then after 28 days of living in it you will be able to start back at the beginning of the 28 days and this time be in the real universe. And then you wake up and you are not sure if you saved the world or it is just a dream. It all has something to do with geometry. But if you watch Donnie Darko you will understand it all. But for me I am going to send out a few texts before I take a few sleeping pills so that I can maybe save the world while I sleep. Look for me. And hope you had a great Thanksgiving. Until next time.
Friday, November 11, 2005
More Memoirs of a Las Vegan.
Let me start by saying to the three of you that check this. If you have not heard about my trip to Vegas jump down to the next post because that is the start of this tale. What a magical tale it is too. I believe I left off with a promise of pictoral proof of what people look like after a nice extremely filling buffet and a nice Cirque del Soule show. I am talking about a time spent gambling till noon the next day with rides on a roof of the tallest building west of the Grand Canyon. So heres your pictures.
What a view, looing straight down and spinning.
On your marks, Get set, Die!
Toasting a new life together.
Well, probably time for bed.
That is where we were.
Well, I can't say that I have ever gone to bed at 1:00pm before. Well last time I was in Vegas I did. Oh yeah and the time before. Oh yeah and the next night! After sleeping what Doctors describe as a healthy nights sleep we woke up at 9:00pm on Sunday and decided that nothing said I am ready to start a day like another Buffett. Only eating 4/5th the amount I had at the Bellagio Buffet, I was ready for a walk. Thing is, everyone else was ready for a good nights sleep.(after only 2 hours of being up, Unamerican!) I talked Dusty into traveling up the strip with me Where we visted the Wynn Hotel and much more. We walked for what seemed like 4 miles. The only logical thing to do was to pull over on our way home and fill up the ole gas tank before we call it a day. In a way only Vegas allows filling up the gas tank turned into meeting people from Wisconsin and staying up and continueing to fill up all the way until 1000 am on Monday. Getting to the room took a map. Getting to sleep took a second. We have no physical proof of our souvener cups other then what is in these pictures because Dusty thought it would be fun the wake the girls by smacking them on the head with them, breaking them all. Anyways. More pics.
Amazing what you find on a walk in Vegas at night.
Doc's Plastic line up. Then mine.
It is amazing the nice people you can meet on any given night. And then still know them in the morning.
What a view, looing straight down and spinning.
On your marks, Get set, Die!
Toasting a new life together.
Well, probably time for bed.
That is where we were.
Well, I can't say that I have ever gone to bed at 1:00pm before. Well last time I was in Vegas I did. Oh yeah and the time before. Oh yeah and the next night! After sleeping what Doctors describe as a healthy nights sleep we woke up at 9:00pm on Sunday and decided that nothing said I am ready to start a day like another Buffett. Only eating 4/5th the amount I had at the Bellagio Buffet, I was ready for a walk. Thing is, everyone else was ready for a good nights sleep.(after only 2 hours of being up, Unamerican!) I talked Dusty into traveling up the strip with me Where we visted the Wynn Hotel and much more. We walked for what seemed like 4 miles. The only logical thing to do was to pull over on our way home and fill up the ole gas tank before we call it a day. In a way only Vegas allows filling up the gas tank turned into meeting people from Wisconsin and staying up and continueing to fill up all the way until 1000 am on Monday. Getting to the room took a map. Getting to sleep took a second. We have no physical proof of our souvener cups other then what is in these pictures because Dusty thought it would be fun the wake the girls by smacking them on the head with them, breaking them all. Anyways. More pics.
Amazing what you find on a walk in Vegas at night.
Doc's Plastic line up. Then mine.
It is amazing the nice people you can meet on any given night. And then still know them in the morning.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Memoirs of a Las Vegan.
It has been a few weeks since I last blogged. And for good reason. I was in Vegas and then recovering from Vegas. It is a two week process, that I am still not sure I am fully back to normal. But what a trip we had. Nothing like staying up till dawn and sleeping till dusk to get the blood flowing. Nothing like eating cornacopious amounts of food and gallons of beverages to slow the blood flow. Nothing like proposing marriage and riding rides dangling 2000 feet in the air to get the blood back flowing. It is just a great time had by all. I'll attempt to take you on a photo journey here of me and my friends travels to Las Vegas over the Halloween weekend of 2005. Enjoy.
The plane ride was a joyous one. The best part of it I believe, was the fact there was no slot machines or blackjack tables on which to loose our hard earned money. Thanks to some covert ops secret mission impossible stuff we were able to arrive in Vegas with our blood pumping for a good time. The blood even was pumping waiting for our rental mini-van to arrive to us. We had to restrain a few members of the party from a street brawl. But this picture is from the Southwest Flight 815, row 23 seats A-F. The following is our fissured 15 steps in Vegas. The next 4,815,162,342 were each a story of their own.
With a near encounter behind us. It was time to make Dusty and John walk 2 miles with luggage while me and Joel checked us all into the rooms. We had nice rooms that had a connecting door, and only began to smell on the last day we were there. With luggage unpacked and pockets filled with money burning holes our pockets, it was time to do what any group of people arriving in Vegas do: DANCE. And dance we did. By we I mean I danced and danced and danced. Dancing in Vegas is like dancing in a dream. And I have no idea what I mean, but the following is proof that dancing was going on. By the way I believe someone spilled their drink on my shirt is why is looks so wet.
Needless to say we woke up with sore legs, but a fresh mind. It was time to explore the city. Looks way different with natures lights on. We visited downtown(home of the football shaped drinking receptacles) and many other casinos. Here are a few pictures from this journey. None of us are in the photos because dancing all night makes your appearance the next day below par. Check these out.
Sightseeing is done. It is time to get serious about eating. If you want to feel full and I don't mean, "No, I would not care for any more" full. I mean the kind of full where you can not muster up the energy needed to lift the spoon to your mouth for one last bite of dessert full. This is exactly what I went for. Buffets are a good way to do this. The Bellagio Buffet is an even better way to do this. I had four full plates of food and five different desserts. Yummy. I can now say I have eaten Seabass, Sordfish, Roasted Duck, Prime Rib, Beef Wellington, Crab Legs and Veal, all on the same plate! I had to try and shove the last piece of dessert down with no luck. Here is the order in which it was consumed, now I need a napkin.
MAIN COURSE:
DESSERT:
LAST PIECE:
LAST BITE:
I'm full as a tick on a fat dog in the summer. What is the best thing to do when this full? If there was ever a survey on such a thing I imagine the answer would be to relax in the hotel room maybe take a leisurely shower and take in a nice show while the 45 pounds of food finds its way to your stomach and hips. We however too the approach of: run across the street to our hotel, take five second showers, get yelled at by everyone for making them late, almost forget to put on socks, forget to shave(wait shave and make everyone even madder), get all dressed up, run to the mini-van, run stop signs to get to the casino our show is at, sprint to the shows entrance and slide in as the house lights are being lowered. Yes perfect way to let food settle. But seriously, we watched one of the most amazing shows I have every seen called Mystere'. Excellent show that had people doing acrobatics that should only exist in cartoons. Very fun show, very fun time. No better way to remember it then by a picture out side.
The show is over, the stomach is full the bed is calling. But not very loud however because the slots are calling louder and the blackjack tables are screaming. Could it be a loose night on the slots? Would we win it all back on one monster hand of blackjack? Would we stay up all night trying to get yes's out of these first two questions and end up at the Stratosphere, where there would be proposals, and death defying rides? Yes we would and here's a bit of proof. TO BE CONTINUED!!!
The plane ride was a joyous one. The best part of it I believe, was the fact there was no slot machines or blackjack tables on which to loose our hard earned money. Thanks to some covert ops secret mission impossible stuff we were able to arrive in Vegas with our blood pumping for a good time. The blood even was pumping waiting for our rental mini-van to arrive to us. We had to restrain a few members of the party from a street brawl. But this picture is from the Southwest Flight 815, row 23 seats A-F. The following is our fissured 15 steps in Vegas. The next 4,815,162,342 were each a story of their own.
With a near encounter behind us. It was time to make Dusty and John walk 2 miles with luggage while me and Joel checked us all into the rooms. We had nice rooms that had a connecting door, and only began to smell on the last day we were there. With luggage unpacked and pockets filled with money burning holes our pockets, it was time to do what any group of people arriving in Vegas do: DANCE. And dance we did. By we I mean I danced and danced and danced. Dancing in Vegas is like dancing in a dream. And I have no idea what I mean, but the following is proof that dancing was going on. By the way I believe someone spilled their drink on my shirt is why is looks so wet.
Needless to say we woke up with sore legs, but a fresh mind. It was time to explore the city. Looks way different with natures lights on. We visited downtown(home of the football shaped drinking receptacles) and many other casinos. Here are a few pictures from this journey. None of us are in the photos because dancing all night makes your appearance the next day below par. Check these out.
Sightseeing is done. It is time to get serious about eating. If you want to feel full and I don't mean, "No, I would not care for any more" full. I mean the kind of full where you can not muster up the energy needed to lift the spoon to your mouth for one last bite of dessert full. This is exactly what I went for. Buffets are a good way to do this. The Bellagio Buffet is an even better way to do this. I had four full plates of food and five different desserts. Yummy. I can now say I have eaten Seabass, Sordfish, Roasted Duck, Prime Rib, Beef Wellington, Crab Legs and Veal, all on the same plate! I had to try and shove the last piece of dessert down with no luck. Here is the order in which it was consumed, now I need a napkin.
MAIN COURSE:
DESSERT:
LAST PIECE:
LAST BITE:
I'm full as a tick on a fat dog in the summer. What is the best thing to do when this full? If there was ever a survey on such a thing I imagine the answer would be to relax in the hotel room maybe take a leisurely shower and take in a nice show while the 45 pounds of food finds its way to your stomach and hips. We however too the approach of: run across the street to our hotel, take five second showers, get yelled at by everyone for making them late, almost forget to put on socks, forget to shave(wait shave and make everyone even madder), get all dressed up, run to the mini-van, run stop signs to get to the casino our show is at, sprint to the shows entrance and slide in as the house lights are being lowered. Yes perfect way to let food settle. But seriously, we watched one of the most amazing shows I have every seen called Mystere'. Excellent show that had people doing acrobatics that should only exist in cartoons. Very fun show, very fun time. No better way to remember it then by a picture out side.
The show is over, the stomach is full the bed is calling. But not very loud however because the slots are calling louder and the blackjack tables are screaming. Could it be a loose night on the slots? Would we win it all back on one monster hand of blackjack? Would we stay up all night trying to get yes's out of these first two questions and end up at the Stratosphere, where there would be proposals, and death defying rides? Yes we would and here's a bit of proof. TO BE CONTINUED!!!
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