Thursday, June 02, 2005

The Five Personalities of Kevin - Part 2

Since I promised to let you in on my conversation fabrications, I will let you know about my talented left brained personality.

2. He is a singer. He tends to wear pants that are too tight and wares a ridiculous hat. A cowboy hat to be specific. He has written songs entitled "If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure," "My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field While Your Dear John Was Breakin' My Heart," and "Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed." Me and the other personalities make fun of his songs. He plays guitar but only knows 3 notes, so all his songs are a bit repetitious. He likes to ride horses and he likes his women to have the ability to spit watermelon seeds over 30 feet. He wears boots made out of snakes and constantly taps his left foot on the ground. He tends to be the dorkiest of my personalities. He tries to dance the two step and the half step, but only ends up doing a one and a half. He tries though. He gets girls for the sole reason of being up on a stage with a guitar and singing. It is just that the girls he usually gets have mullets and are stronger then him. This personality lives up in the Wyoming area but travels around the middle northern central four states promoting his CD by playing concerts at county fairs and nursing homes. He borrowed some money from one of the more successful personalities but he did start up a web site where you all can check in on his progress. You can even buy a shirt. So instead of sending five dollars to my fan club, you can pay 22 bucks for a shirt of my country singer personality. Well I got to get back to listening to one of his more racy titles, "I Can't Fly My Kite No More Cause My Wife Won't Give Me Any Tail." Check out his web site here and join the fan club. Until next personality.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA, that is the funniest thing! You're other personalities might have a hard time topping that one. Those songs sound like some real winners :)