Eating Healthy will Kill You

Over the past two days, which is longer then I have ever lasted on my self imposed diets, I have attempted just that. To diet. To try and somehow sculpt this "Boss Hog" waist into a lean mean hard body. I know that makes me lauph too. I am really just attempting to get to the point where if I take my shirt off at the beach, the pool or lets say my room, that the ladies do not exit with haste. There are two things that have been a hurtle--no wait--a brick wall in my quest for being fit. They are Fast Deep Fried Foods and the ever so encompassing urge to sit on my ass and do nothing. I usually combined these two, lets call them hobbies, daily, usually three times a day in fact, unless the urge to sit on my ass and do nothing over takes the urge to eat something greasy. I am sure you know I maybe over play my problems a bit. So let me assure you, I can still move pretty quickly on the basketball court and I can still climb one flight of stairs with out breaking into a profound sweat. But it was three weeks ago where I had a "hello stupid?" moment. I was on the basketball court(yes the one I claimed I can more quickly on
) warming up to play in a game for the next hour and a half. WARMING UP! Next thing I know, I am bent over out of breath and for some reason craving a double quarter pounder from Mc D's. This couldn't be happening, I am athletic I thought to my self and then wheezed. Anyways, being hardbigheaded, I struggled through the game and after being revived by perimedics at half time I made my way to Mc. D's(logicaly), and that is when it first started happening. My desire to better myself actually overtook my desire to do nothing. I now felt very close to making the decision to get back into the gym, but first I was going to order this single quarter pounder! Hey, it's a start.
Well, I sat on my ass and struggled for about two more weeks and then this past Friday I decided to go ahead and make the drastic choice I had been dreading since 3rd grade. I have completely cut out fast 'grease dripping' food from my diet. This may seem easy to most of you that read this, but I on the other hand in the past six years, have probably filled two land fills with the amount of fast food trash I have accumulated. But NO MORE! I now am making my own food, packing a little-low carb-lunches in handy tupperware(which I never knew existed). And you want to know what? I'M STARVING...I found that when I rely on me to make a full meal for myself, I suck at it. I thought I was going to die of hunger pains today and I was craving Sonic so bad that I thought I might die. The worst part was that after work is when I was my hungeriest, and that happens to be the time when every day for the past decade I had a nice fast food meal, neatly wrapped in silky paper and handed to me threw my window. I was determined to hold strong though. I did snap at the people at the post office, but once I explained to them my predicament they just lauphed. Ok, I am now seconds away from the house, passing the last temptation on the way, when it dawns on me... I still have to make my food! Crap. A two tire screetching u-turn in heavy traffic actually crossed my mind, but I am proud to tell you though as soon as I made it in the house, I found some healthy things to snack on and preceded to make a nice meal of beef shish-ka-bobs. I even had enouph to fill a tupperware bowl so that I can take it to work, tomorrow. I am so glad I have made it this far in my healthy diet(torture), even if it is only hour 43(feels like 10,043). I have a trip to Mexico in 10 days, and I am hopeful I will save on luggage space by not having to pack so many t-shirts to cover my 'donut storage tanks'. I am also hopeful that I will not have broken down and robbed Wendy's either due to hunger and fast food lust, or died from my body rejecting this new kind of food being introduced to it. Ok, ok its all about being positive. I am still alive (barely)and I am sure I have already added three minutes to the end of my life with eating so healthily. At this rate I might live long enouph to go on a date. Until next time.