You Never Get What You Paid For

I have been in vacation so i have been unable too funtion as a bad wighter(i.e. this sentence). But these tens days off have cleared my head, blistered my face and also prepared me to figure out one of life's lessons. "You never get what you paid for" Bare with me....
I learned that if you reach your credit limit on your credit card that they will send you a letter that does not say, "You are in debt, and will be judged harshly in Heaven!" It does say however, "We are happy that you, our honored spender, are reaching your limit. As a reward we are going to raise your limit, so that you, our honored spender can continue to have fun." Amazing. The small print I found out after I had already had the fun reads, "Since we are allowing your fun to continue, we hope you find that the 19% raise in your APR (bringing it to 57%), to be fair and reasonable. Thank you our honored spender." Not Amazing. But this caused me to think, as pretty much anything does, and I started to figure out what using a credit card to buy small unimportant things does. It turns them into extravagant ultra-important things once you get them paid off. Allow me to digress. You can purchase a small item on your credit card, mainly because it is easy, but through a process called "hahahahaha your screwed," interest is tacked on to this small item causing it to really cost you like a million times more then what you paid originally. Anyways, to tell you the truth, and I never lie in these blogs:), I came up with five real life examples of this phenomenon.
----ONE -----
Pizza from Little Ceasers is cheap. Buying a classy Italian Resturante is not so cheap. Always take cash with you to pay for a pizza, or else you will end up paying for way more than just heart burn.
ORIGINALLY SPENT---$6.11 on large Hot-n-Ready pizza.
PAID FOR A---$61,930.45 classy Italian Resturante that takes credit cards.
----TWO----
Running out of batteries to control the remote to the T.V. is a bad hindrance especially when Growing Up Gatti is about to come on and you don't know how to turn the T.V. on at the base. You better remember your Lincolns if your going to make a quick trip to the corner store to make this purchase. It is next to impossible not be enticed by cold Big Red while there picking up the batteries, at least for me it is.
ORIGINALLY SPENT---$4.78 on two AAA batteries and a 79ounce Big Red.
PAID FOR A---$6,230.32 flat panel 79inch television that has no batteries and a $4,900.00 bottle of 79 year old wine(stainless steel cork screw included).
----THREE----
Shopping during a sale is a good thing, we all can admit that. But bargain bin scouring, drive-all-over-town price matching, liquidation hound shopping is an art only a few people possess. But it is important to note, if you are this person you should not use your card to pay for any of these "deals." I am not one of these people but all I had was plastic one time at the Kohls "Once In A Lifetime 99% Off Sale."
ORIGINALLY SPENT---$13.22 on two pair of untrendy fake cotton Polos.
PAID FOR A---$113,334.87 closet full of custom made trendy not-fake silk Armani suites(comes to just five suites actually).
----FOUR----
Not wanting to smell bad is a goal of almost everyone not living in France. But cash is the way to go when it is time to restock the Clear Stick long lasting deodorant. It almost may be better to move to France and stink rather then charge a b.o. blocker.
ORIGINALLY SPENT---$3.45 on everyday no-name brand of 24-hour protection pit spray.
PAID FOR A---$33,984.00 surgery that replaces your glands that produce bad smells with a gland that emits smells that attracts women($472/month x 6years =$33,984 if you wanted to know.) Because, I did.
----FIVE----
Enjoying cultures of a distant country should be a requirement in life. Eating exotic foods, drinking a foreign drink even traveling to a land and soaking it all in. Another good way is the try the Hookah or Nargile, a smoking devise that comes from the ancient India and Turkey. The taste is sweet, often tasting like oranges even if it shouldn't. Bring a Benjamin to these special times though because it is better to smoke with friends then through a Visa.
ORIGINALLY SPENT---$14.50 on a Hookah filled with oil saturated something.
PAID FOR A---$150,000 truckload of pure 100% Columbian Cocaine. Why it paid for this exactly is not quite clear to me. I have to check the fine print on my statement.

Until next time.


p.s. I was going to write about Hookahs and its wonderful history. But since I was just introduced to them tonight, I have decided to wait a few days. That way I would know everything and pass it on to you.