What happens in Vegas.... Stays in Vegas?

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. That is the motto. That is the national creed of Sin City. Why does that phrase seem so inviting? Why does that phrase seem so mischievous? Why does this phrase seem to only work with Las Vegas? It was no accident, it was because no other city claimed the rights to this powerful marketing tool first. That is it. I can't believe I have just figured this out! For years I believed that anything I did or any of my friends did, no matter how crazy and insane, all memory and proof of it ever happening would be kept right there in the city limits. I think the millions of people that visit Vegas each year with their bag of quarters, rent check, and mistress all assume the same thing that I did. Let the city take full control of all reason and common sense and when you board the plane to leave, it is handed back to you. I thought this happened on my last five visits to the City of Sidewalk Porn Distributors, and over the past 6 years here in San Antonio I believed that we actually went to bed before 1:00 a.m. each night, we showed restraint on the black jack table (never positioning ourselves between two black fur wearing hookers), we limited ourselves to two adult beverages an evening never consumer more then we should and we ate only a healthy amount of food. But that is when it clicked. Wait a minute... We have proof that all of this did not happen in this manor. How can something really stay in Vegas after cameras, cell phones, video cameras and gossip were innvented. Nothing can stay there. So, I will have a new mind set this trip to Vegas, with 8 of my closest and dearest friends ever, "What Happens in Vegas No Matter How Embarrassing Humiliating and Wrong will Surely Find its Way to San Antontio and my Mom" So I am going to take it easy this trip. Maybe get up early and do a little jog, then grab breakfast, followed by a nice stroll up and down the strip then a nice buffet for lunch followed by a nice nap. Take in some sun by the heated pool next and then get showered for an evening show and dinner. Next maybe spend 20 minutes and a ten dollar bill on a slot machine, lauph about how quick it went, get a mixed drink and head up to the room, look at the lights of the town from my window and then get to sleep after watching a little T.V., all by 12:30. Follow this same pattern for the next two days. I think if I stick this plan of attack, then for sure, what ever happens in Vegas will stay there. I am sure the following pattern is one that would find it's way out of the Sin City before even the body leaves the city. Arrive blow a twenty at the airport on a slot machine, blow another twenty while waiting on friends to check in, have two mixed drinks. Waste another twenty while waiting for friends to meet you in the lobby, consume 4 more mixed drinks, blow another twenty, and another and another, create drama, have five more mixed drinks and two footballs, dance all over other peoples girlfriends for 4 hours, blow another twenty after being kicked out of the club, waste 4 mixed drinks by leaving them in the bathroom stall, blow another twenty with one bet of black jack, find ATM, get denied, find wrong room twice then right room fall asleep as room service is knocking on door to see if you need clean towels at 10:00 a.m.. Repeat for two more days. Absolutely, this behavior would find it's way out of Vegas. So and I am speaking for everyone of the nine traveling to Vegas. I think we might leave our cameras here this time! Just so that there is no proof one pattern or the other. In fact here as some pictures that have found their way out! Notice none of me. No one wanted to take a picture of me calmly losing money. Only 5 days until we blow our first twenty. I can't wait. Until next time.