Could you be yourself if cameras followed you around constantly and you were forced to live in a house, on an island, or in an office? I have trouble being myself in front of a crowd of five let alone the whole world. Anyways, reality t.v. of course is all over the television right now. Nothing is sacred. Weddings, honeymoons, births, barmitsvahs, getting arrested even just plain old normal family life(Osbornes and Hogan Knows Best) have all been turned into reality shows. Recently I learned American Idol try outs are coming to town and that means one thing. I had a thought, that snowballed into an elaborate dumb idea. Which further means you get to now hear my pitch for a Reality Broadway Musical.
If you stuck around to read about this idea then you are in luck. Because if marketed right I think this could be the best musical every to come out of Broadway, except Cats of course. Anyways, the beauty of this Reality Musical is that there would only need to be one cast member. I assume you are rolling your eyes now, but I am serious. Actually the main cast members would be from the audience that come to each sold out performance. The idea is that most people I know, heck everyone I have ever met, likes to sing. While a lot of these people are actually good singers some even being great, the majority can not sing very well. That is until they are put into the right circumstance. So, while my Reality Sing-a-long musical would be marketed toward every level of singer, I feel the people that would enjoy this musical the most are those of us that have below par "on our own" voices. Knowing nothing about musicals except that they are broken into ACTS, I have insomniacly come up with a four ACTS. Weather or not you want to know what they are, I am going to bore you with them any ways. I will creatively start off with Act One.
ACT ONE-GETTING WARM:
In front of the curtain the star of the show, the one paid cast member would enter from the left. This person would be me, mainly because that is who I keep picturing as that person, feel free to place your self in this position if it makes it easier for you. So, I would come out on stage to a packed house of screaming women all wanting me, and I would explain to them the events that are about to take place, sharing with them that the whole audience is the cast, and as much crowd participation as possible only makes the show better. I would them dip behind the curtain, then a five second pause, then the curtain would fly open at an alarmingly fast rate. What would be on stage will be almost to much to behold for first time viewers...For it will be a lone grand shower sitting there in the center of the stage. The tune Hey Jude would start to play and that is when the audience would notice that I am in the shower with a mic. I encourage everyone to sing-along with me in the shower. And in a shamefully off key tone I would lead the audience in singing the Beatles wonderful ballad. And during the song 20 more showers would some how rise up on the stage, and assistances would grab random audience members and lead them to the different showers. They would be all kinds, some would even be dirty to resemble a batcholer pads shower. In each stall there would be fake water spraying and there would be a mic in the shape of a bottle of shampoo that the audience members would belt the tune into. Whitney Houston's, I Will Always Love
You would then start playing and the crowd would go crazy and be in a frenzy. Video cameras would be capturing the shower singers and the mics would be pumped through the speakers at an even louder rate. The mix of good to bad singers would be awesome. And the whole audience would be in tears they would be enjoying it so much. I would be out of the shower, in a towel and I would be ridiculously muscular and not grey headed and I would be pumping the crowd up even more to try to really get to the high parts. This ACT ONE would close with a Poison Ballad, probably Wind of Change because I like to whistle in the shower and hence I figure that means everyone else must like to as well. And it would be a good transition to ACT TWO.
ACT TWO-GETTING READY:
Here I would explain to the audience that the seats they are currently sitting in are special. And at that moment out of the top of the seat in front of them would appear a vanity mirror. I would share with them that this segment is all about singing your heart out into the mirror while getting ready to go out. While the last of the whistling is playing from Wind of Change, I would step in front of the closing curtain, still in my towel because no one cares they are too busy wiping tears of joy from their eyes. I explain that I will need 30 volunteer singers for this ACT and I would pick out a wide variety of suckers to come up on stage. As we all stand in front of the curtain I would explain that they will be standing behind the mirrors that will appear and that they should sing their lungs into a couphing frenzy if they can. About that time the curtain would whip open at a wickedly fast speed and there would sit 30 varying stations that included mirrors of course and hair brushes, curling irons and all sorts of stuff to use as a microphone. At that moment Breakfast at Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something would start up over the overhead speakers and the whole place would be rocking. The video cameras would be ignored my the wannabe singers that get lost in singing in front of the reflection of themselves having the time of their life. The next song would come on to a deafening roar of anticipation and joy. For the next song would get things rocking a bit. Simi-charmed Life would then come on by Third Eye Blind, only because I have drawn a tired blank of what else could play at such a spectacular event. SO I would quickly change it to Justin Timberlake which would be followed by ear piercing screams by all the girls. Cry Me A river would play and the main fun of this part is to see how people dance to the beat in front of their personal mirrors. This section would end with a classic by one of my favorite artists because I would have control over what songs are played until people that know what they are doing are hired to do this for me. Anyways... The crowd would then sing to the classic Give a Little Bit by Supertramp. This would get the audience time to try and harmonize together. Every one would now be taking pride in their bad singing, and hear it less, and would begin to feel that they are solely responsible for keeping the show going. It will be so great to see. It will all be on film. And their would be an intermission at this point for everyone to talk about either A) How good the show is or B) Why did we pay this money when this is what I do at home.
ACT three is still a few moments away, but in blog terms it is probably a few days away. Check back and see how my life changing play ends, or just go grab your MP3 player and belt out some of your favorite tunes. Let me know what song you'd like to see sung in this history changing musical. I might be able to get you some front row seats if we use it. Until next time.
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