Monday, April 11, 2005

Excuses are like .....

I am sorry I have not written in a while, but I realized I left out a minor detail in my last blog about my horrible wreck. I shattered both arms. This has made it quite hard to type. Knowing you were anticipating a blog, I worked diligently over the last 5 days to try to figure out a new way to type. I tried with my toes(didn't work, due to the smell and lack of flexibility), I tried with a chop stick rubberbanded to my head(didn't work, splinters), I even tried holding a pencil in my mouth and using the eraser end to hit the keys(didn't work, mainly because I used sharp pencils which poked my cheek and gave me lead poisoning.) I came to find that what worked the best however, was typing nothing at all. But this is all really a big excuse for being lazy. Something that has come quite easy lately. There is nothing quite like doing nothing. Especially when stuff needs to be done. The problem is it leaves you rushing to do the things that are important until the last minute. Example: I have a test tomorrow that could change my life(more like give me one) and I have not studied yet but I will get to it. If you are a slacker you know that "not really studied but I will get to it" means "I have not studied one bit" the "I will get to it" part is thrown in to make you feel better. (I feel way better now.) Moving on. I had a crazy customer float into my store today. I want to show respect so I will not broadcast her name over the internet so I will just refer to her as Crazy Lune. Well, Crazy Lune came in wearing a out fit that was quite intresting. A giant sweater and matching pants, all made of yarn in a rainbow of colors. On Crazy Lune's t-shirt was a picture of herself, with her 15 cats. Needless to say, I was scared. I tried to help her as fast as I could so that she would go back to her cat farm, but she insisted on telling me about her single daughter and how great it would be for me to go out with her single-and-looking daughter. I'm a healthy guy in my late 20's but I think I had a mild stroke at this idea. I am not one to make judgments about someone I have never met but in this case I was quite certain that even if the gal was Miss America, the thought of Christmas dinners (Most likely tuna) and family get togethers, gave me such a fright that I just froze and turned pale. She took this as a sign that I was interested, so she got out her knit purse and dug through what must have been six thousand coupons, and retrieved a pen and paper to get my number. Being the quick thinker that I am I gave her my friend Lizen's cell number, and address. Crazy Lune then started chanting something in gibberish and then raced out the door on her broom. I then blinked for the first time in ten minutes and closed up shop. The lesson here is basically that God is sending me a sign that is it time to go out and meet girls or he is going to send them to me one way or the other. I will get too it. First, I have to let my arms heal, then I'll get to it. Until next time.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

haha, yet another hilarious entry! I think that you should have asked her out on a date, she sounds AWESOMELY attractive :)

Anonymous said...

Haha you crack me up. It's about time you meet some girls. I think psycho cat lady's daughter might have been perfect!! Just think of the sweaters she could knit you at Christmas! Love ya!

Anonymous said...

Ha! Reminds me of the movie "Hope Floats." Ya know the part where Burdie Pruitt's mom is a taxidermist and has all the dead animals around the house. I don't know though Kev. I'm betting Crazy Lune's daugher is no Sandra Bullock.