Saturday, May 14, 2005

Costco and Graduations

I have not been able to misspell words for you in a while because, I have been lost. Not Lost as in overhyped and ridiculous t.v. drama, but lost. I entered a wholesale food mart called Costco. It was as large as Disney Land. What was crazy is if you go to buy just some soap your out of luck, unless you want to buy a 120 pack of soap. I don't know about you but I like to change up my soap every couple of months. If I got this bundle I would be in my forties and still not need new soap. They sell computers there too, but again, unless your needing 5 of them at once, do not buy it here. I was there hunting for printer paper for work. So, I ventured off to the west side of the store because it looked appealing, and there was sign that said printer paper. On my way there I passed a table that had shorts all over it. The sign said "one pair 18.99", and in small print underneath it said, "must buy five pair to get this price." Seems unfair unless that is part of a uniform you wear. Ok ok I am heading toward paper, when I am yelled at by some old man with a hair-net holding what I guess is possibility of hair reaching his head. The old man was bald, but he was offering me pizza pocket samples. Being a healthy young man(and cheap) I accepted his offer of a free hot pocket sample. The olden preceded to tell me, "you can get a box of 72 of these great snacks or party hordurves and they make a great lunch or dinner. They only have 145 grams of fat and they come in a box with a shoulder strap." It sounded like a recording, and then it dawned on me that the shoulder strap was because the box was to large too put in any grocery cart. I thanked the man and moved on hearing the him grab another victim behind me. I passed another seven of these stations one serving a new kind of bread, another baked ziti to serve 16, another promised an ice-cream cone that is healthy for kids, and some non-carbonated, sugar free, taste-free drink. Nice, I had just sampled a full course meal. Snack, bread, meal, dessert, and drink. And now I was tired, so I layette on a hammock that they sell in bundles of three. While sleeping, I had a dream that I was not yet graduated from college and I was 27 years old, with car held together by pliers. I woke myself in a sweat and realized it was just a dream, for I remembered that it was not me who had not graduated, it was my friend and travel buddy Jay(to be fair it was because he changed his major about 12 times and was on the phone for 4 of the years). He graduates on Saturday I thought to myself. Then I chuckled to myself. I needed to look for a gift. But not here, unless I wanted to get his whole class the same gift. Oh, as a side note, I have a friend and travel buddy named Kenny. He is still a sophomore in college, so he should be out of college by his 31st B-day. Go Kenny. Well, I did find my paper, but it took a fork lift to take it to my car, and while in line to pay I did find something for Jay. A card. Which reminds me I have to sign all 60 of these. Until next time.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Haha Kevin. That's funny about your friends and their graduations. Tell Jason Congrats!

Anonymous said...

C'mon Kevin............use your spell-check and send your articles to the Express News.

Anonymous said...

haha, you gotta love Costco, suddenly things that you didn't know you needed, you suddenly need 20 of! I suggest the Asprin, 1,000 caplets for only $6!! You'd never have a headache for the rest of your life! Congratulations Jason, beep beep :)