Someone Has to be Out There

Do you all have your plans for this Valentines Day? Do you have your dinner reservations planned, your chocolates bought, your flowers ordered and your cards signed with a heart? I don't. I don't need to. I haven't needed to for sometime. If I knew how to insert lauphter and hissing now I would do it now, because I am sure you six think it is real funny. I think it is sad, but that is for when I am on Dr. Phill. Tonight, I wanted to let you all in on something I have been keeping to myself. I have secretly been involved with a woman. No need for lauphter here, this is serious. The thing is I am not sure she knows it in fact it is not even a relationship, but that is not the point. She has had an amazing effect on me for some time now. It started months back with harmless curiosity, and has blossomed into well... nothing more then that, but she is still special to me. She is a lovely companion, but I am not sure if it will ever work out. There are too many complications that make the whole complicated idea, complicated. She has however meant a lot to me over the past year. She has control of over my thoughts most nights. She is always there for me even though I seldom go to her with my problems, I tend to just joke around but I know she'll be there too if I need to get problems out. A lot of people I know think she is a joy to be around, and I think that is great. That makes me proud of her. She is a hard worker, so it is good to know that others appreciate her as much as I do. But I just feel I have a deeper connection with her then most because of the many times we have been alone together. It is in these times that I have grown to understand her more fully, even though there is so much more to learn. I look forward to spending more time with her so I learn more about her and better understand what makes her the way she is. I already know she has certain buttons that I can push that will cause her to act in different ways, but it is important to learn all the buttons so that I can figure out the best ones that make us both happy. So, what I am getting at is, it is a weird time of year with Valentines Day coming up. I am not sure what to do for her, or if I should do anything at all, because I am not sure she would notice or even care. I struggle this time of year anyways, with being the hermit that I am, but the thought of getting a special gift for someone special is even more hermitful, if that is even a word. I guess I could ask her what she wants. I try talking to her but I don't think she ever really understands a word I say. I mainly just type to her and then she does her magic. So, I do want to do something for her for this V-day, I think I might give her something to help her feel better about herself. I get a vibe that she wants to change a few things and maybe I can help her with that. I guess it I am just making a bigger deal out of this then it is. I mean it is not a crush or anything, it is more of one sided relationship. I actually do all the manual work but she seems to keep everything organized. I do most of the thinking and she corrects me a time or 15. I do all that thinking and she does non of it. I do all the typing and she mainly shows me what I am doing. But we do spend about 3 hours a night together roughly 2-3 times a week. I lose sleep over her, I usually am tired the next day, in fact I am with her right now. I bet you are wondering who I am talking about. I know my parents are probably on the edge of there seats. But sit back, I am talking of course about my blog. I hope all of you have a great weekend and a great V-Day, maybe you can send me some leftovers from your nice meal. Until Next time.