Memento-by-Boris

(One Hour Ago)
The day was just one of those crazy days. One in which everything seemed shuddersome to begin with. The temperature must have dropped twenty degrees in the the past hour. Nothing really made any since. Both the moon and the sun seemed to be fighting over who had control of the sky. It was humid but at the same time one's skin could be chilled by the inconsistent winds. Something was up, and at the same time something was going to go down this night. Something big. Something that might not ever be able to be explained. It just had that feel to it. The streets were quiet except for one area of town. Neon lights filled the street corner with an unpleasant glow. It was now dark, and four light footsteps, four shuffling footsteps and two indiscernible footsteps could be heard. It was an eerie sound, one that caused the streets to be deserted and small children to clinch their mothers leg in a trepidation. It was in the next hour that life in the this small town would be changed forever. But at this moment, time appeared to stand still, stars lost their twinkle and it seemed that everyone in this unsuspecting town inhaled a deep breath at the exact same moment. The next thing that these folks heard, would be the last normal memory many of them would have this night. For at this moment there was a unusually loud creaking of an unusually large door...

(Fifteen Minutes Ago)
The place was a wreck, like a bachelors room right before a lady friend comes to visit. Just plain crazy. Not one person could even form the words to describe what they had witnessed for the past fifty minutes or so. No one had thought it was possible. No one thought is was real, but they all agreed, what happened that does not happen every day, not even once in a blue moon. Exspecially to this small quiet town. There was broken glass everywhere, ice cream everywhere, liquids of all kinds all over the floors and walls, tread marks on the floor, and some other food all over the place-some of it all mashed up. A manager shuffles through the wreckage and can only shake his head in amazement over what just happened. He mumbles to himself something that sounded like, "I feel like that was a dream." He starts picking up random objects off the ground each bringing back a memory of the past hour. Just then he leans down and picks up a spoon....

(Twenty-five Minutes Ago)
NO ONE COULD QUITE BELIEVE IT!!!! What was happening! There was what appeared to be a small imaginary creature running rampant throughout the room protecting people. But right when people would think, "there's no way that could be a small imaginary creature running rampant throughout the room protecting people," it would disappear. It was a sight that was just icing on the cake on what seemed to be the most amazing forty minutes any of them had ever been through. This little creature would seem to fly from danger to danger in the room, saving one man from getting run over, to saving a woman from slipping on a mashed up hot dog wiener. And just like that he would disappear again. That is when a few people started catching on that if you believed that this small creature was there to protect you then he would do just that! This caused people to try jumping off tables face first on to the ground just so the little imaginary creature would swoop in and save them from a nasty head ache. But something started to go wrong. It had to do something with the fact that for some reason ice cream was being served throughout the room. The small imaginary creature could not make it to people in time, people were getting injured ice cream and spoons preceded to fly across the room. What started as a strong belief in a protecting little creature had suddenly turned into a food fight of epic proportions. And that is the last any saw of this small imaginary creature. The manager wiping some ice cream from is sleeve bends down and picks up a envelope that has yet to be sealed...

(Forty Minutes Ago)
No one was prepared for what was happening at this exact moment. The largest turtle anyone ad ever seen was spotted getting into a small race car. He barely fit into the little car. It also took a good five minutes for him to get in the car and get the door shut. He was a turtle, mind you. But that is when it happened. He started driving around the room Ricky Bobby style. FAST! This scared the room at first, people were running around spilling their drinks, throwing their chairs, and of course picking their jaws off the floor, because they did just witness a big 100 year old turtle position himself into a small race car and continue to drive around tables weaving in and out of people. The fear slowly resided and people started having fun with it, cheering on this crazy old speeding turtle. Smiles filled the air again. But the fun took a weird turn that no one could have predicted, not even by the smelly guy in the corner that said, "Wow, you don't see that every day!" A worker came from the back of the room holding a stack of what at first looked like papers. She was not paying attention to the fact that a 100 year old turtle was being cheered on by many while skidding around the room at a rate that would blow your mind. Well she walked right in front of the speeding turtle, he swerved as best he could but he did clip her leg, she dropped her-what looked like papers- amazingly enough, into the car window and he crashed into a group of tables that were full of drinks. A few men rushed over and what they found was beyond their most imaginative thoughts. All that was in the wrecked race car, was a shell half the size of the 100 year old turtle they saw crawl in the car. All over the damp shell were unsealed envelopes stuck all over the poor turtle. He actually began to shrink until he was gone. It was almost more then this group of men could take. The manager came by at this moment and said to the group of befuddled men, "next rounds on me." This seemed to snap the men out of their disbelief and put a grin back on their face. The manager studied the wreck, he too was amazed at what just happened. It was not the first time he was amazed tonight, and assumed it would not be the last. He then bent over and picked up a half of a hot dog wiener...

(Fifty minutes ago)
No one could believe what they were looking at. Not in a million years could what they were looking at really be standing in front of them. It was hamster. But not any ole hamster, this hamster looked like a dwarf hamster. The only way to even begin to understand this, was to understand that not only was he a dwarf hamster he was also Siberian. He was standing on a bar stool and immediately had every ones attention. He screamed out in a schreakingly high voice that he was going to hold a contest! A contest that would involve hot dog wieners and noses. The room which already had a look of amazement, now had a look of confused amazement. This quickly ended when the peculiarly shaped hamster explained the rules and the prize of this contest. "If you can fit two full hot dogs up your nose, you will receive two things from me. One, you will receive a free dental examination and two you will get a kite that I have welded out of the lightest wood I have found in my travels through out the world." The confused amazed looks were now replaced with huge smiles. For this group responds joyously to the word free and they all get in line to join in on this game. The Siberian Hamster then shows the crowd what is expected. UNBELEVABLE, was the emotion of the collective crowd, for the dwarf had just somehow shoved seven weenies into his nose. This caused about half the group watching this unbelievable feat to drop their drinks with a shatter onto the floor, and stumble out of the line. The other half stayed in line and started attempting to shove two hot dogs up their own noses. NOT one person came close until a hottie from the back of the room strutted up to the front of the line. She was a diva. If there was not a Siberian Dwarf Hamster shoving links up his tiny nose, every eye would be on this gal. She did, and with relative ease, get both of the hot dogs into her nose, impressing almost no one. It was a short time after she won that something no one was ready for happened. She started walking up to the hamster for her free dental examination, and while on the way up there she started applying the most heavenly looking red lipstick one has seen upon her perfectly crafted lips. It seemed to take the attention for the second away from the tiny hot dog engulfing hamster from Siberia, so no one knows what really happened. But right before this beautiful woman got to the bar stool, the hamster exploded. Nobody could tell you before this night what it would be like if a tiny foreign hamster exploded, but from then on each of them would have it burned into their minds, that it is almost just like a package of ballpark franks exploding right in your face. Unbelievable was the mood. Everyone sinced it coming into the room that night, the air had seemed weird. The manager came out from behind the counter with a mop and broom. He leaned over and picked up a little book that was laying on the floor. He read the cover, The Complete Book of Jokes...

(Fifty-nine-and-a-half Minutes Ago)
So this Siberian Dwarf Hamster, A Jawabalee and one of those big 100 yr old Turtles walk into a bar...

Until next time.