The Christmas Cheer and Funk

MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone! If I was even a halfway diligent blogger I would have posted this greeting on or before Christmas Day, but for what it is worth there it is. Let me get this off my chest early in this blog. I am in a funk. I have written about a funk before but it was more of a lifting weights funk and being lazy. I woke up this afternoon and felt a surprising force pressing in on me from all angles. I felt squished by a unknown funk is all I can describe it as, a squishing like a scuba suit that is too small. I don't have fever, I don't have a runny nose, I don't even have any unusual rashes. All I can think up is that it is a funk. I just looked up the definition of a FUNK and now I am scared. According to www.answers.com, a funk is 1. A state of cowardly fright; a panic 2. A feeling or spell of dismally low spirits 3. A type of popular music combining elements of jazz, blues, and soul and characterized by syncopated rhythm and a heavy, repetitive bass line. I take it that a Funk is a scared depressed guy panicking with a a nice beat in his head. So maybe I need to describe my feelings a bit different, because even though I always have a nice beat with some elements of jazz and blues going through my head most hours, I don't think I am depressed coward. But who knows really. If any of you can think of another name for never really getting it together through out the course of a day please let me know. By "it" I mean finishing a task, completing a thought, matching my clothes. So please send in your suggestions on what this state of being would be called if it is not simply a funk. When I have been in these self described funks before, I have blamed it on the fact that my head, which can unsurprisingly hold a lot of stuff, is filled to the graying brim with thoughts and wonders. Random thoughts and wonders are all compressed and multiplied, unzipped and strung out in no discernable order, like this blog tonight. Speaking of random thoughts, I want to go back to the simple word, funk. I have found much more interesting information about the word. I found many synonyms of funk like; poltroon, pusillanimity, apprehension, dejection, panic, syncopated rhythm, and cool beats. Did you know that in Spanish a funk is translated sobresalto, in Portuguese it is dançar, in Italian it is pauroso, in Dutch it is het modieus zijn, in Greek it is κοψοχολιάζω, and finally in London it is stilll just funk but with a weird accent. Crazy. So please help me come up with a new word to call a day in my life that seems to go in no real direction and where thoughts fill the hours, minutes, and seconds and cause me to repeat myself over and over. So please help me come up with a new word to call a day in my life that seems to go in no real direction and where thoughts fill the hours, minutes, and seconds and cause me to repeat myself over and over.
Ok, sorry for the depressing talk. Let's move on to the real highlight of the past few days. GETTING PRESENTS!!!!! Now, take a minute and think about what you got and then don't tell me because I don't care. Haha I'm kidding. Ofcourse I like to get presents over Christmas, but there is something about giving a gift that is better to me. Christmas is the one day of the year I wish I had Oprah Winfrey's bank account so that I could get everyone the gifts they deserve and want. Every other day of the year I just wish I had Donald Trump's bank account. So, I am left buying only gifts that I can afford. You see my mom deserve more then simple disposable hand warmers, she deserves a car with heated seats, my brother deserves more then a paperback novel, he deserves a stack of hundred dollar bills as thick as a paperback novel. My friends deserve more then 3-for-1 priced DVD's, they deserve high-end suits tailored for each, luggage from Coach and a night out on the town. But the reality is I am left with buying presents that try to mean something even though they are from the clearance rack from Wal-mart.(Is that a double negative?) Anyways, I did more then OK on the receiving end this Christmas. I got all new bedding for my bed, I mean real bedding with throw pillows and every thing. Now my pillow cases match for once and there is no more Ninja Turtle sheets. My bed now outclassess not only my room, but my closet too. Though I did get a upgrade to my closet as well. I now have a friend for my two trendy shirts. I got a shirt that is probably going to make me attractive, mainly because women will be stairing at my shirt instead of me. I got some workout clothes from a friend that works where I work out. I guess it was a hint that my stained one size too small shirts that I wear to the gym are bad for business. I of course got socks this Christmas, which happens each year just as wild office Christmas parties seem to happen each year as well. I got some sweet Texas Longhorns gear that I will be able to wear to the 2006 Rose Bowl in Pasadenaa California where the National Champions will be crowned. Yes, I am bragging:) Let's see what else did I get, oh yeah... I got enouph candy to rot out even all of Steven Tyler's(from Arrowsmith) teeth. Interestingly enouph 2/3rd of that candy was given to me by a dentists' daughter, at least I know a place to fill the coming cavitiess. But that was basically it for me. My friends all seemed to rake it in getting vacuums, weed-eaters, set of tools(no I'm not talking about my grandpa here), weddi... err... nice diamond rings, digital cameras, loads of cash and so much more. So I hope each of you got what you wanted and if you didn't I hope that it didn't leave you in a funk. Take care and start thinking of your New Years resolutions. Until next time.